DAY 532

that´s what I have come to learn

There is no goal, only room for movement

there is no destination, only paths to walk

there is no achievement, only a sort of movement forward

there is no a steady structure, only change

there is no a predictable outcome, only amazement

there is no future, only present

there is no past, only lessons

there is no agenda, only journey

there is no explanation, only facts

and even so,

paradoxically,

there is a plan where everything fits

because by going with the flow we accomplish

by accepting, we grow

without becoming attached to results, we evolve

without taking things personally, we understand

and by being in the now, we emerge


PS: After re-reading this text a few times I realized that it´s part of the celebration´s series...  this week I am celebrating this ongoing process of living a conscious life

Have a nice week dear friends,

Much Love,

Z.

DAY 521

What can I celebrate when it seems there is nothing to celebrate?

I have been wondering that along the last month. As you may know I started this year with the intention of honoring my life by celebrating it (and vice versa, I guess). I didn´t set any goal or purpose regarding this intention, because I didn´t want to deal with disappointed expectations. So when after a few posts -some really bad news about a good friend´s health and the increase of my work duties- I realized that I wasn´t feeling like celebrating, I let it be.

I focused on keeping my serenity along this troubled times by reinforcing my inner work, my meditation practice, my creative discipline and I started to pay attention to my diet and my sleeping habits. I felt that I had to concentrate on those things if I wanted to go through this stressful period of my life. Those things have helped me to cope with my hectic schedule, university policies, my frustration because I have had to assume extra work and my emotional response to the whole situation.

To my surprise, I´ve managed to keep the positive thinking and a peaceful mood; I am enjoying my classes even when I have to teach so many hours and different subjects and I don´t feel as mentally exhausted or overwhelmed as I thought I would be. Indeed, a few days ago I went to visit an institution where some of my students are developing their practices and some of the workers said to me that stress suits me nicely. Of course, it´s not the stress, it´s all the things I am doing to keep it under control.

Maybe, I should have had more faith in myself from the very beginning, but I was not that sure that I would be able to deal with all this so well. Even when I know what I have to do (from an inner viewpoint) when things become tough, I am also prone to fall back into the same old habits and forget to stay present and act accordingly.

But this time I have achieved some (great) success. I am quite tired (who wouldn´t?) but today resting at home and looking back, I can see that some tiny changes have made a big difference.

 I felt that was okay if the big issues in my life didn´t let me see the little joys, if I didn´t  want to count my blessing because I felt that I wanted to be sad or angry or hopeless, if I changed my mind regarding things that were important to me months ago and I was putting first those that I should have mastered ages ago. 

I felt that even when I was not doing what I had planned, I had to accept  it instead of feeling ashamed. And by doing it, I have discovered new fragments of inner wisdom, the kind of inner wisdom that comes to us slowly.  Paradoxically, this behavior has made me find also new (and maybe more complex and authentic) reasons to rejoice in unlikely places. 

Today I celebrate simply that.

DAY 514

"Pleasure comes and goes.
When it goes, we don't need to cling to memories of the past happiness or dwell on when it may come again. When we turn to the past yearning, we are running away from the present. When we propel ourselves into the future in anticipation, we are running away from the present. This is the secret of the world's spiritual tradition called detachment: If we don't cling to past or future we live entirely here and now, in 'Eternity's sunrise.'"

Eknath Easwaran

DAY 513

this week I am celebrating the PRESENT MOMENT

This precise (precious) moment, and I am not doing it because it is flawless or magnificent, but because is the one and only I have.

This uncertain, fragile moment, which is trembling with expectation, shaking my consciousness with its own two hands while shouting me: awake, awake! I am as fleeting as a soap-bubble!.

And indeed, it is evanescent, but guess what?, life is made of this transitory moments, one after another. They come to meet us and in a twinkling of an eye they are gone. We don´t know when they will stop, but we certainly know that we only can truly live the current one. 

So today, I am determined to celebrate this present moment, not because it is rewarding or important or because it fulfills any requirement, just because it is in this moment where (and when) my life occurs.

 In this precise moment (despite its brevity) I am having my share of pain, confusion, and I am fighting a few battles; I am dealing with some chaos and exerting myself to distinguish between what is about me and what is about others; I am also feeling  some joy,  some peace…  and much more

In fact, everything can happen in this tiny interval. It can be a time for ordinary things or sacred glimpses... who knows?. The whole experience of the existence is condensed here and now and I can live it all, I can embrace the whole essence of life in this single moment. Why shouldn´t I celebrate it?

Why would I want to regret the past or keep wondering about the future?. The past has gone, the future is yet to arrive, so the only thing I must do -I can do- is living what I have to live.

This is all I have, thus today I praise the transient moments that allow me to experience what is and the miracle of being here…

right here, right now.

DAY 510

You lack a foot to travel?
Then journey into yourself
And like a mine of rubies
receive the sunbeams print

Out of yourself such a journey
will lead you to your self,
It leads to transformation
of dust into pure gold!

Rumi

DAY 509

this week I am celebrating MY JOURNEY

It´s strange being here… years have gone so fast, all the changes that could have lasted ages, finally have happened in a flash.

What used to be painful now arrives quiet to my heart like the murmur of a distant ocean. The anger is turning into something new, less pointed, and reaches the edge of my soul when is muted, dull... appeased. And many memories are simply vanishing.

It´s strange being here… after so many battles, what have stayed?. The clamor of wins and failures is now attenuated along with the need to please, to be perfect... to be loved.

Nothing seems to be as important as it seemed to be. Nothing seems to be so terrible, so transcendent. Every single thing seems to have a place, a reason to be, to happen, a message that I can´t wait to decode.

It´s strange being here… doubts, expectations and rigidness don´t stand out anymore and my center seems to be expanding beyond my own boundaries, so now I am centered even when I am eccentric. And suddenly I don´t need to exert myself to mend my life, I finally can walk by what is imperfect and unfinished.

I am starting to be impervious to others demands but I still ache for the world, for what is unfair and deceitful. I don´t know if I will be able to accept this one day, I don´t think so, I only acquiesce to deal with it, but I get along with this.

It´s strange being here… I see myself while getting acquainted with fear, feeding what made me insecure, taking my shadow to pieces without blinking an eye.

Where is all that swell?. Where is the lack of understanding, the sense of not belonging here, of not being enough?. Where is the horrific sense of inner breaking?. Where is the remorse for my supposed misdeeds, for not being much better or clever or awake?. They have gone away.

It´s strange being here... feeling that I can trust and stay safe and relearn to love and forgive and be adventurous and hopeful while being exactly the same person I´ve always been.

It´s strange being here… and also wonderful and amazing and rewarding.

That is the reason why I am celebrating this outward and return (inward) expedition. Celebrate with me!. And celebrate also your own journey.

Much Love

Z.

DAY 506

this week I am celebrating LOVE

Lately I´ve been thinking of persons who inhabit (or have inhabited) my world and how them have marked me some way. I have known some of them for a very long time; I met others only once or twice and even so I have never forgot them and I am getting to know some of them right now, but I already know that will be part of that group. Some are family or old friends, others just acquaintances. I have coincided with many of them along my personal life´s paths but there are also former students or persons that I bumped into due to my work activities and of course, on-line contacts.

Some of those persons have hurt me deeply or made me feel sad or angry, or triggered any kind of unease, although they were not meant to do it... I guess this happens to all of us. But many others have developed much more positive roles.

However, while revising my list I´ve realized that any and each of them have taught me important things some way or another. But what has amazed me more is how the hard impact of some of them on my life has tarnished the beautifully constructive influence of the rest.

Some times in life what some authors usually call tyrant teachers (those who don´t want to teach us anything but do it anyway, through the pain they cause and its subsequent processing) gobble up all the good things and persons around.

I have decided that it´s time to change that. I need to focus on what is good and nice and rewarding. I need to focus on those who help and embrace and applaud and support. I need to focus on what I have created, not on what I have been deprived of. I need to focus on the beautiful self I have been able to construct regardless of the obstacles.

So this week I am celebrating the LOVE I have received from those who has been generous enough to offer it to me, even when maybe I was too immersed in my own world.

Those who have lent a hand and open their hearts.

Those who have given me thanks, or have appreciated me some way maybe only once.

Those who have gone with me along the peaceful days. And also, through the uneven moments.

Those who have listened or given good feed-back.

Those who have laughed (and cried) with me.

Those who has believed in my success and defended that I have something good to offer.

Those who have seen my light when I only saw darkness and have shared their beautiful souls with me.

Those who has been with me day after day sharing their love and joy.

Those who has been patient enough to await my blooming.

Those who come here and read and are kind enough to take time to do it...

This week I am rejoicing in love signs and proclaiming that love is all around. This week I am sending love to you all and looking for ways to honor all the good persons in my life (including myself).

Would you join me in this celebration?. I would like to know more about how you are honoring and celebrating love in your life.

Much Love

Z.