DAY 365+70

when life calls for something more than taxonomy 

I´d been yearning for taking some photos in the forest for a while now, but for some reason or another I didn´t do it  till past Sunday

I arrived there and went deep into intricate scenery and walk slowly following winding (and almost invisible) paths. The light was hazy, filtered through the leaves above, and was creating stunning patterns that often seemed pieces of filigree. But what really caught my eye were the lichens developed on the surfaces of branches and trunks. They were growing anarchical here and there, silently conquering the superficies of the trees, tenaciously, showing their unusual and peculiar charm

While I was walking I was trying to discern what I knew about these amazing creatures, but I only could remember that they are formed by the symbiotic association of a fungus and an alga. I wondered why I couldn´t remember why algae can be found  in moist ground and not only in salty water  and many other things, but I had not answer

I was there, surrounding by trees, trying to go through my memories, and then, their beauty brought about a miracle: the temporary cessation of mind´s opinions and judgments. I forgot that I was concerned by the nature of lichens and I was overcome with joy after starting to look thoroughly what was outside and abandoning the confusing passages of my thoughts

Little by little I started to keep in step with the peaceful energy that was carried gently on the air. And I felt, once again, how easy is to conform to our own inner nature (to be centered) when we are focused on the now

All my life I have wanted to know more about things, to understand why they occur. I have had the desire to categorize them, the desire to find some order

All my life I have thought that recognizing things, naming them, would help me to face up reality in a better way. All my life I have believed that studying in depth roots, causes, reasons, components... would help me to take them apart, to understand the influence of some events on me and even to bring up the circle of pain

All my life I have defended that change and appreciation comes from knowledge

But since I have started this journey I have realized that this is only true at some level 

Sometimes, knowledge doesn´t make any difference

Sometimes, our wish for understanding makes some attitudes (like forgiveness or gratitude) much more difficult

Sometimes, even when it can provide us with significant information, what matters is what we are going to do with it, how we are going to manage it to increase our consciousness. Knowledge itself is useless in order to have a more fulfilled life

Even when my analytic side is reluctant to write this, I have to admit that there is a wisdom inside me that doesn´t come from the logical reasoning of my mind, maybe because this is only one of the ways to deal with my experience here 

Maybe because there are many more ways to do it

I can think about it, of course. I can analyze it and I can unravel it. But I also can explore it, deconstruct it, enjoy it. I can co-create it, accept it, bless it, embrace it. I can appreciate it

...I can -even- simply live it

Walk and Click Wednesday

DAY 365+66

come and sit here with me

I hadn´t remembered that April would bring the flowering of the beautiful jacaranda trees till I saw wonderful mauve carpets covering lanes and roads 

I´ve arrived to this seat while I was wandering with my camera, 
walking on layers and layers of aromatic flowers, 
trying not to step on them if not necessary
 
It´s the same bench I have seen so many times, yet different

This is a quiet and beautiful place, 
the smell is dense and sweet, 
the earth is still damp due to spring´s downpours 
and the fallen tree leafs of fichus gleam like gold 

The light still shines even when it´s late in the evening and the ivy goes across the soil sinuously

Come and sit here with me. There is a path. Where it will lead us, I am not sure
 
It´s luminous and goes through the scented flowers, the fertile land, the yellowish and withered vegetation and the growing plants 

It´s maybe my path, your path. The path wich goes through our gifts and talents, the territory of life, the compost made by joy and suffering, the fruitful seeds of love... and gets into the unknown territory of contentment

Inhale with me the rich (even voluptuous) air. Inhale with me the spring, the warm light of the end of the day, the patches of color, the smell of an evolving world 

And now exhale with me the pain and the anger, sadness and frustration which the subtle wind will dispel. Exhale with me the story, the past, the lies, the sense of not being enough

 Open your eyes, and you will see, like me, just a what reality offers. You will see, like me, just a little jacaranda flower beautifully illuminated by the latest sun rays

And you will realize, like me, that you simply are in the right place



Walk and Click Wednesday

DAY 365+64

glimpses into the places in which joy lives

Windows have been always one of my favorite architectural details. When I look at them I imagine stories (in particular, if I can discern part of a room, a patch of fabric or someone developing an ordinary task inside it) and I am also prone to wonder how my life would be if I could live in a given house 

Thus, it´s hardly surprising they are also one of my favorite photography subjects. I guess I find them so highly appealing because they illustrate the power of our imagination. It´s amazing how a simple (and even repetitive) design avoids monotony by playing with the same elements (colors, textures and accessories) in order to create new combinations whose variety is simply awesome

Along a few years I have taken many photos of windows. Some of them are impressive because they are part of a significant building, but most of them are ordinary windows which are just lovely and creative. This proves that diversity is pleasant and enriches human experience, because it open our mind to a new conception of beauty, less stereotyped and conventional but maybe more interesting

I have often asked myself why I keep on photographing windows (even when most of the photos stay unpublished) but I hadn´t had   a clear answer -apart, of course,  from their evident charm- till a few days ago while I was looking through my files and saw them again

Then, I started to think that maybe, they illustrate my imaginary knocking at the house of joy through photography, my expectation that I will see its face through the glass of one of those openings in the walls of my city

Maybe, I hold out the hope of looking directly into its eyes, every time I go outside with my camera

Guess what? I often receive this present: my heart opens and embraces what is around when look through lens, and by doing this I experience the most simple and perfect delight. That which comes from not questioning what is

DAY 365+62

up and down

Sometimes I feel that my life is in a mess. This usually happens when I am dealing with personal conflicts related to injustice, lack of respect or abuse. I don´t tolerate well this kind of behavior which often awakes my anger and frustration... and also my need to fight for what I think is fair

This always changes my mood. It generates anxiety and when goes on for some time, it ends up distorting my perspective and undermining my good sense and my joy. And then, every aspect and facet of my existence starts to seem uncertain and problematic to me. Of course, the more frustrated and anxious I feel, the more biased my viewpoint starts to be and vice versa 

This obviously creates a kind of vicious circle that I am learning to break by becoming aware of my emotional state and managing my emotions more wisely. But from time to time, I fail, and a certain conflict threatens my tranquility in a way that is not acceptable

Obsession becomes a blemish on the peace of my mind, fear produces a sensation of powerlessness and the unreal imminence of chaos manages to circumvent my rational mind. When this occurs, logic doesn´t help me, reasoning doesn´t help me, common sense doesn´t help me... but relinquishing control often works

To tell you the truth, most of the times I have to be almost exhausted to do it and there is always an external -and unexpected- catalyst

I´ve been struggling with some of those vicious circles lately, but this week I reached a critical point. I went outside to walk and I felt totally uninspired, I sat down on a bench and wait while praying silently a bit 

When I finished,   I looked up and I could see that all the palms along the road were bearing their fruits. I hadn´t even noticed this when I started my walk but they gave me back the sense of amazement that I needed in order to counteract my turbulent state of mind 

Suddenly, while trying to capture their beauty, I started to outline a response to the situation I was going through, and I could see glimpses of a strategy that would allow me to recover my calm

I continued my walk and when arrived to the park next to my house the sun was shinning again (both literal and metaphorically speaking) and  I was clear about my attitude, and about the way I would behave from then on

Sometimes, we have to look up and accept guidance to start to listen the tiny voice that calls out inside us. Sometimes we have to listen to take up our path again with a new destination in mind
Walk and Click Wednesday

DAY 365+60

insight

When I look at my photos I realize that my captures often show a different side of the world I saw  along my stroll. In fact, when I am walking outside I have a global vision of the scenery around me, I am aware of perspectives and the diverse layers of colors and textures that define the place where I am, but when I look through my camera I  only take photos of some details

This always makes me wonder about the mental processes that I use to create those images (which are focused only on some aspects of what I am seeing) and why I pay attention to some information or stimulus and others go unnoticed. Obviously, this is due to the way I perceive the world which is subjective and is impacted by a number of changing variables depending on who I am, something that I find fascinating 

If the images I capture are highly influenced by the characteristics of the things which I am observing but also by the context, my mood and my own personal characteristics, I can infer that the reflection upon those images can give  me data about myself and can help me to improve my self-knowledge. And this only can happen if everything I perceive as occurring outside me, is also occurring inside me 

Does this means I am creating a reality for myself? I don´t think so, I rather think that when I take photos I am creating an image of reality that allows me to understand what is beyond my five senses by understanding myself. This, of course, generates a new perception of that reality which goes beyond the socially constructed vision of it and reveals its sacred dimension

A new perception according to which the importance of things can be relative, the approach and attitude say it all, the tiny competes with the impressive, and allure defies logic

A new perception according to which balance doesn´t come from symmetry, and beauty doesn´t mean perfection, recipes and standardized options are not always the best and challenges can open amazing paths

A new perception according to which the unexpected can shape the soul, the part is contained in the whole and the whole is contained in each part


Walk and Click Wednesday

DAY 365+57

when I opt for equilibrium

I usually drag out my walks with no apparent reason. In fact, once I am outside I am reluctant to come back home, I forget my previous laziness and I want to go on and on and on 

To be honest, I often think twice when I have to leave my house. I have to remind myself that even when I am cerebral, reflective and fond of my intellectual life, I also need to roam, be erratic and follow my ramblings. I am a very task oriented person, but I also have a strong creative side, deep spiritual beliefs and a bohemian yearning which is almost secret (and hidden), so I feel that is good to permit myself to be a bit unfocused and wander instead of going always after predetermined goals

This is a way to combine all my facets, and prevent me from restraining some of them that have not been in the forefront only because they have not been encouraged or approved by myself or others. Indeed, I try to link them all through the contemplative observance of my life and the active acceptance of who I am

I have learned that I can be idealist and pragmatic, intense and mundane, introspective and passionate and also that it´s good to be open to a less dualist viewpoint. Often, polarized opinions lead us to not consider a legitimate side of ourselves that is valuable and enriching, and also necessary, because it gives us balance, a point of difference and a sense of completeness

When I make the effort to do that, I always receive great rewards. Some of them are intangible, as a great sense of fulfillment because I am developing my whole potential (no matter how divergent my attributes seem to be), and some of them are very tangible

They are little miracles that occur along the way when I decide to validate myself and don´t penalize some parts of me

Little miracles that talk about the great importance of staying open minded, to accept heterogeneity and diversity 
Little miracles that urge me to appreciate this polychromic world and let go for a moment monochrome mindset

Little miracles that illustrate the charm of change as well as the appeal of stability; the mystery of what I already know and the challenging trait of the unexpected 

Little miracles that remind me the possibility of embracing the delicacy of the ordinary and an integrative vision

Little miracles that makes me become aware of the uselessness of ego´s judgmentsLittle miracles that drive me to merge with what is 

Little miracles like a walk where I find cycles, seasons and stages coexisting peacefully and creating beauty



Walk and Click Wednesday 

DAY 365+55

when life is too hectic and time is short 

when a busy schedule seems to make me unable to enjoy everydayness and I cast my inner work into oblivion  because I am too busy to calm down and do it devotedly,  I try to remember that I must stay present in every circumstance of my life, even in those which drive me crazy 

I try to remember that I must stay present in the exhausting days when I have to deal with tasks that don´t awake my true inner bliss

I try not to forget that life is cyclic and every activity has its time 

I try not to forget that even so, there is always tiny room for breathe, pray and smile,

a tiny room for appreciation and meditation

I try to accept that I have to live what comes to meet me because this is the most authentic spiritual practice 

And when routine and duties become overwhelming,I try to recover a certain sense of amazement 

I get away from the papers of my students, from the lists of things that must be done

I go outside, walk,  look around with my tired eyes... 

And I realize that indeed, there is still a glimmer of silence and solitude,

a glimmer of hope and light

places where I still meet myself, where I can sit down with myself...  

And connect with the sense of things (even of those which seems to be meaningless) again

Walk and Click Wednesday

DAY 365+42

"I suppose what makes me most glad is that we all recognize each other
in this metaphysical space of silence and happening, and get some sense, for a moment, that we are full of paradise without knowing it."

Thomas Merton


Walk and Click Wednesday: a walk that made me feel awake