DAY 608

so there is courage in blooming...

Yes, there is courage in showing up once and again.

There is courage in living every day trying to be aware of what happens inside
while the heart stays wide open.

There is courage in embracing every single experience that comes to meet me
and in letting them go when they not longer teach me… or comfort me.

There is courage in starting a new page
without knowing what is going to happen,
and in making room for curiosity regardless of the old pain.

There is courage in becoming the person that I always dreamt of being,
and in being true to myself

There is courage in going through this existence without fear
-even when I am fearful-
one day and another,
and in doing my best regardless what others have to offer me.

There is courage in being myself without making excuses,
 and in giving up conditionings

There is courage in coexisting with myself peacefully,
in spreading hope by using only the fabric of my life
and in healing my wounds without any other remedy but love and compassion.

There is courage in me  when I  wake up slowly after another fail (or fall)
only to listen the tiny voice within,
to stand up for what I believe
or to make a flag only with light.

Yes, there is courage in me,
and there is also courage in you.

After yesterday's post, I experienced  some relief, and I realized that I should stop fighting. I thought this morning I would feel uneasy anyway, but I came up with this. Being kind with myself is not always easy, so I think this is a little step in the right direction.

Much Love

Z. 

DAY 554

expanding the sense of belonging

"When we see who is really in front of us, when we can glimpse a bit of their “secret history,” we don’t want them to suffer, and our circle of compassion naturally widens to include them"

Tara Brach

DAY 550

an awkward revelation

I don´t mind to admit that often my heart breaks into pieces.

No matter what my mind rationally argues or what I said to myself about the essence of life; what advices I can receive or look for; how deeply I go into my practice; how neatly I try to stay present, meditate or re-focus myself on what is important.

No matter if I am diligent or lazy when the time to accept my emotions comes, if I embrace or neglect them.

All those thing start to be important later on,  when I start to deal with causes and consequences but none of them prevent my heart from falling apart when I have to face up the nature of this existence.

Maybe it would be cooler or more alluring try to pretend that I am beyond all the mundane wishes and yearnings or the perplexity caused by what indeed is natural, but this wouldn´t be true to my real self.

When pain, violence, injustice, abandonment, negligence, abuse, solitude, fragility hit me, right in that  same moment,  I feel how new fissures appear in my heart. They are caused by sorrow, caused by anger.

I have learnt to fix them. To gather the scraps and keep them together when the rupture is too serious. I have learnt to live with this cracked, fragmented, heart and come to understand that all this comes from empathy and compassion (that often go unnoticed due to the fact that I am an introvert).

It is not easy to live with a brittle heart. It can create negativity and disappointment or a false sense of detachment and a lack of concern. Consequently, it is important to consciously cultivate resilience and hope and joy and of course, courage in order to act according to what the heart is feeling. It is crucial also, try not to toughen it (even when we can be tempted to do it) because healing cannot be originated through indifference.

As far as I am concerned that kind of balance is essential because when things fail to move us, grief gains ground, insanity starts to rule and all things good can be corrupted.