DAY 583

in {and out} Week 18: Big

All the indoors photos of this project are mainly taken inside my house and using items that I already have, so when the time to approach this theme came, I thought I would come out of the challenge well, but I hadn´t thouhgt of something: I don´t like big things.

I do not like sumptuous objects or flamboyant details. I don´t like exaggerated ornaments or personal accessories (except for rings, sun-glasses and handbags). I love all things small. In fact, there are many things that I find too huge for my taste maybe because I feel that little scales and sizes intimidate me less.

This is not only evident regarding house decoration or my personal image, it also becomes obvious when I look at my photos or my collages, even my doodles and the outlines and diagrams I usually give to my students are filled with tiny details. I need to create precise and meticulous compositions and an accurate work. This makes me diligent and methodical but also exigent and –from time to time- maybe too much punctilious.

However when it comes to another kind of things, I don´t feel the same:

I don´t fail to see the big picture (even when I can be focused on details).

I like big stories, big challenges and big emotions. I admire big hearts, big smiles, big trees and big cities. I adore big libraries and book stores.

I like feeling a big fondness for little moments of wonder and a big love for this life. I like having big ideas and knowing more about this big wide world. And those who are big enough to overcome their story, forgive and make the most of their experiences in order to have a meaningful existence.

And of course, I love big cups of tea!, whether in rainy or sunny days.

This entry is part of a project I am developing with my friend Montse Gallardo. We´ll share a photo every week during 2015. Her photos will be always taken outside and my photos will be indoor shots only. We have created a Facebook page: In and Out. 52 weeks where you can see all the photos of the project. 

DAY 558

50

As you may already know it was my 50th birthday past week. As the days have  passed I have started to feel the urge to make a sort of assessment but I was no able to find an appropriate approach.

Finally, this morning I came up with this. They are just fifty random (and immaterial) things that happened to me along my first fifty years of life. They are not logically organized. They don´t summarize all my experiences, either or narrate a complete or coherent story, they are not even the most important or interesting, but they are for sure, some of the more decisive.

 They can seem recent facts or achievements, but they are not because even when I have faced some of them along the last decade they have been present in my life –some way or another- since my earlier years. Indeed I truly believe that this birthday is also a turning point as I have completed and closed many pending things from the past. I hope so. I celebrate it.


1. I have learnt how to deal with my feelings

2. I suffered and have overcome suffering

3. I understood the great importance of setting boundaries

4. I have learnt to love myself to love another

5. I stopped abuse and I liberated myself

6. I healed my past

7. I have developed a personal practice based on spirituality

8. I accepted guidance and asked for what I need

9. I have prayed a lot

10. I made contact with my inner power

11. I have tried to embrace my demons (keep trying)

12. I gave thanks to those tyrants in my life and I am letting them go

13. I have learnt how to live in the present, day after day (even when sometimes I am tempted to give up)

14. I understood that baby steps counts

15. I´ve been wrong about many things

16. I have had to accept the mind-body connections

17. I acknowledged that perfectionism is a way to run away (I am now a recovering perfectionist)

18. I made decisions and then, I forgot them and had to start again but this showed me how to live in process

19. I have forgiven myself for my weaknesses and my naivety and for handing over my own power

20. I understood why I should trust

21. I decided to restore a healthy sense of self

22. I have listened and been listened

23. I have questioned my conditionings

24. I discovered the allure of ordinary things

25. I have had to apologized and this taught me humbleness

26. I have appreciated everydayness almost every single day

27. I have tried to help as much as I can and have been helped a lot

28. I started to run after light

29. I resolved to cultivate mindfulness

30. One day I decided to rely on my soul don´t know exactly how or why

31. I started to consider myself a survivor, nor a victim

32. I have accepted that teaching is the voice of my soul

33. I started to practice authenticity and pay the consequences (all positive in the medium term)

34. I have cherished memories and mementos

35. I am trying to keep my journey (and my inner work) no matter what people said

36. I have laughed

37. I have dreamt a bit (maybe not as much as I have would liked)

38. I have –little by little- spread my wings

39. I have appreciated both calm and storm (I have gotten no choice!)

40. I expected miracles and miracles happened

41. I have loved (and being loved) much

42. I have created so many things… including life that is meaningful to me

43. I have walked my path with a joyful heart most of the days

44. I am internalizing why is so important to abandon those (both circumstances or persons) that try to invalidate me and I am exerting myself to act accordingly

45. I have had great masters

46. I have been arrogant and stubborn. It took me so much to bow down to my destiny, to love this life of mine as it is, but I am learning to do it

47. I have met kindred souls

48. I have learned to hear the messages of the spirit

49. I am realizing that I have to tame my ego if I want to be happy

50. I have come to understand that finally everything had to be exactly as it was

DAY 365+133

after Christmas

I love this time of the year, I love feeling generous and willing to be at ease regardless of past fears and sadness and anger. I experience it as a sort of rebirth every single year (!), maybe because I celebrate my birthday the Christmas Eve, but it is not a facile time to me. It makes me feel easily overwhelmed with expectations about how things could be (yes, I know...).

Latest years I´ve been cultivating a sort of detachment and trying to let go my idea of what a Christmas celebration should be. Not because I think that usual Christmas celebration is not desirable, or beautiful, but because it really doesn´t fit my life circumstances and makes me suffer. According to this I´ve been abandoning complicated preparations, sophisticated meals, crowded meetings, extended family meals, Christmas cards and greeting, expensive presents and shopping.

I am learning to live it as a personal mood that I can experience -and enjoy- inside me, or along with those who share my new perspective. At this moment of my life I am choosing to express what Christmas means to me in a more discreet and unadorned way. Christmas has always been to me a time where I can make a difference, where I can explore consciously the divinity who lives also inside me, what makes me to feel at peace with myself and others, a time to celebrate light, but I have always wanted to stuff my feelings  into the traditional celebration and it hasn´t  worked fairly well. After much pain I accepted that alternative habits could work better but it has taken me time to accept, change and re-create my Christmas.

I am still on the way but this Christmas I have experienced much more peace and happiness than before and this is an excellent indicator. As this is a work in progress, I have not a complete set of instructions, but I would like to share some of the things that are helping me:

Breaking some rules (or most of them)

Cultivating frugality (but not avarice)

Dismissing insane customs (even when they are old and dear to me or my family)

Buying only things that can be useful or are beautiful (or are really surprising)

Practicing mindfulness

Being generous not only with money but with time and love

Keeping a joyful mood

Letting go drama and perfectionism

Looking for wonder (and living it)

Being true to myself and to the way I conceive Christmas

Doing things that I wouldn´t usually do just because the moment demands it (I am not talking about sacrifice, I am talking about being less rigid, more spontaneous)

Giving new meaning to old habits (and keep only what can be meaningful)

Creating new traditions (that can be interwoven with the old one) and new memories

I know this will help me throughout the years ahead to create a kind of celebration that will make my heart and my soul feel pleased, I am so happy to have started this new path!...

Blessing to you all. Hope you had a wonderful Christmas.

DAY 365+115

you can opt

for living with fear or letting it go

for keeping your chains or breaking free

for staying in the shadow or walking through the light

for being in the past or moving forward

for complaining or making decisions

for feeling pain or healing yourself

for repressing yourself or going with the flow

for rejecting or embracing

for denying or accepting

for punishing yourself or practicing kindness

for being ungrateful or appreciating life

for allowing aggressions or setting boundaries

for being perfect or taking risks

being as expected or having some fun

Maybe you come from a dysfunctional family, or have gone through hard experiences. Maybe your beloved ones have disappointed you in unthinkable ways or you have had to deal with pain, illness or any other kind of crisis.

Maybe you see yourself as a loser and think you have not the adequate foundations, the right skills or tools. Maybe you feel your happiness is a lost cause, maybe you feel you don´t even deserve it.  Maybe you think that changing is not an option. So what? You can opt. You can always opt.

You may think I am a fool. But I am not. I have opted  for releasing me from conditionings regardless of my fear, hard experiences, disappointments and pain,  even when I thought that maybe love and joy were words too big for me. And that simple act has led me to the better place I have been so far.

I am discovering that options are endless (and not mutually exclusive) just because I can keep opting every single day of my life. Because -as incredible as this may seem- this is up to me.

PS: As usual, the image has inspired me those thoughts. Here you can see the silhouette of my husband near my mom´s house. He is one of the persons that has helped me more to understand that indeed I can opt.

DAY 365+98

this is the place where I belong

Volcanic rocks, hard lightaridity, loneliness, bare beauty
lack of ornaments...
just the vast sea of lava.


Here and there a green spot reminds how the life reveals itself in other placesbut not here, not here.
Life here is made of salt, wind and sand
no trees, no big mountains, no rivers
no shades...
just a merciless sun
ridges and curves
and, far away, the ocean. 


After a quarter of century or moreI am walking here again:
the wind blows
and the sun is setting
my feets remember how to jump from one rock to another
my eyes get loss in the hues of black
my heart makes a little dance
and I breathe deeply, once and again.


I remember how naive I still was the last time I walked about this solidified magmaand realize that the naivety and the old joy of vivre
the hope and the confidence
are still with me and are awakening while I contemplate my old friend, the volcano
and feel how the old pain starts to be the propelling force that will lead me to an even better place.

Why we need to stay away from some places when we feel injured, I don´t know.
Why we distance ourselves from the places (or activities) that have nourished us previously, I don´t know.
Why we punish ourselves when other person does the same, I don´t know.
Why it takes us so much time to start to take care of ourselves, I don´t know.

This doesn´t even matter, maybe. Here I am again and I feel welcome.


I took this photo in the volcano which is in front of my mom´s house. I decided to go there for a photo-walk and invited my nephew without thinking very much... and suddenly all these feelings emerged.

Cross-posted at Vision and Verb on Friday. Many other women share their passion for creativity and words there, please visit us, it is a wonderful site

There you will find also a Card Shoppe. For every greeting card sold, the profit will accrue in allotments of $25 each to be given as loans to men and women around the world who are starting their own businesses. We have chosen the non-profit organization KIVA as the conduit for our giving back

You can send a love note to a friend and make a difference in the world

DAY 365+95

Why don´t dream of it all? (playing with reveries)

I have started a self-portrait journey again  and I am taking an on-line class. At the same time I am trying to reinforce my daily practice and to reconnect with my old passion for drawing and to practice self-love and self-respect. Past week I thought that this was too much, and saw August as a big desert filled with self-demands

After a few breathes (and some reflections), this morning I realized that this thoughts were a sort of self-sabotage because deep inside I think I don´t deserve so much attention, I shouldn´t devote so much time to myself, I shouldn´t dream big...

But after debating between all those ideas, I said to myself, "Wait. Why I can´t dream of having it all, of being whoever I want to be... who is preventing me from being free?. I took my camera and faced up a self-portrait challenge that I was postponing (be playful, something that I think I am not). I took my pencils and drew. I came here and wrote the following list inspired by this amazing post. Please follow the link, you´ll enjoy it.

I want to be serious and responsible
I want to be playful and have not a care in this world

I want to be a Zen monk and master the art of meditation
I want to walk by the red carpet (at least once)

I want to travel abroad and be part of an humanitarian project
I want to stay at home and read all day long

I want to have a garden and make grow my own vegetables
I want to live in a city and to plant herbs in pots

I want to fly to the Antarctic and get lost there
I want to fly to the isle where I was born and living with my mom forever

I want to teach every day of my life
I want to own a little library or a tea shop

I want to go to Tahiti
I want to live in Italy for a year (or more)

I want to study and learn more
I want to be peaceful and know that I am enough

I want to be romantic, careless, passionate, bohemian
I want to be predictable, analytic, logic, sensible

I want to sleep outside and count the stars
I want to go to bed at home and kiss my cats goodnight

I want to have a balanced diet
I want to eat sandwiches, drink tea and don´t have a meal timetable

I want to go around the world with my husband and have a nomad existence
I want to be with my mother during her last day

I want to have my dark hair forever
I want to let my gray hair grow and don´t tint it anymore

I want to have a minimalist house
I want to have shabby furniture and mementos everywhere

I want to visit Auschwitz
I want to forget all the suffering

I want to believe that my story counts
I want not to be defined by my story

I want to be extravert and sociable and be the soul of the parties
I want to keep being introvert and reflective

I want to run a marathon
I want to stay at home and write my journals and draw

I want to have time to do all these things
I want to be happy being where I am

I want to be myself
I want to be every tiny “me” that I know still live inside me

DAY 365+92

three. coincident. gazes

Sunset. Summer. Green
Without. A. Care
Rolling. Wandering. Enjoying
White. White. Clothes
Park. City. Heat
Bath.Of. Light
Resting. Awaiting. Exposed
White. White. Water
Movement. Calm. Posture
Experience. Naivety. Time
Pensive. Playful. Observer
Woman. Kid. Me
Exploring.The. World
Loving. The. Moment
Free. Of. Regrets
Without. Any. Shame
Visible. Authentic. True
Stories. Interconnection. Experiences
Glimpses. Of. Eternity



Assignment of "Practice as Creative Muse" online class

DAY 365+91

the fruits ahead 

After some struggles -and some recent discouragement- my inner work is leading me to a new point. It is not related to new finds or any kind of discoveries but to the feeling that now I am ready to radically change my behavior. I am not talking about my mind frames or how I look at the world or even my attitudes which have been gradually changing along these years, but about my behaviors, the way I act, the way I make decisions

My journey has unfolded through tiny (yet forceful) revelations that have given me a vision that I didn´t even know that could exist. But becoming aware of another reality beyond what I used to call reality hasn´t altered my way of acting all of a sudden

In fact, my inner work (which is all about paying attention to what happen around me and inside me using different tools) hasn´t lead me to act consequently all the time. Often I have felt that I couldn´t translate all the knowledge and inner wisdom into the right actions. These contradictions have mortified me but I have persevered and  it seems that I am reaching a new level of coherence

From some time now (two weeks or so) I am having the feeling that my behavior is pervaded with all those tiny revelations. Also that my mind, my emotions, my body and my inner being are finally coming to a point of agreement and pacific coexistence... maybe because I can keep my practice no matter what happens around

You may guess what kind of revelations I am talking about... well, revelations like these:

I am not alone

The more I expect, the more I suffer . The more preconceived ideas I have, the more difficult I find acceptance. And acceptance is the gateway to serenity

Intentions without actions are useless. But acting demands often going with the flow

Perfection is a deception. I don´t need to control anything (nor fix anything). I simply can let things happen and let life unfolds freely

Harsh criticism and self-criticism are dangerous. We are all gifted someway. Comparisons are useless. Kindness empowers.

There is something eternal and amazingly wise inside me, that is indeed my true self. And is important to trust the inner voice that talk me about that side of my existence

When I bow down to my destiny, I start to get what I want even without having a clear plan. Things just happen

My story is important but my wounds can´t be a excuse to stop evolving. Drama only brings me to a dead end

I can say yes to others and yes to myself. My priorities and wishes are also important. I can attract the right circumstances in order to realize them

When I feel compassion I connect myself to the whole creation. Pleasing others is not the way to fulfillment, but service is the way to enlightenment

Regardless of what happen around me, I can always be back to my center... 

a place where calm dwells

DAY 365+83

me (an updated list)

introvert but not shy
teacher by profession (and by vocation)
perfectionist who is learning acceptance
lover of details

unpunctual
achievement oriented
advocate of the connection between all things, beings and events
accidental academic with a creative nature

increasingly convinced that I have to focus on the bright side of things
prone to anger
learning to be visible
stubborn when not centered

joyful
amateur photographer
sensitive (and sometimes even hyper-sensitive)
believer of the healing power of art, prayers and silence

exploring my inner world through the spiritual practice
setting boundaries
learning respect (and self-respect)
professing the belief in kindness and compassion

starting to be less rigid
in favor of authenticity
cat person
grateful

cultivating mindfulness and serenity
looking for ways to love myself more (much more)
letting go preconceived ideas about life and happiness
in search of clarity

no expecting approval anymore
devotee of reading (and writing)
tenacious
tidy but not very organized

embracing my gifts and universe guidance
trying to reach peace through the little things
analytic with a bohemian heart
paying attention to my soul voice

passionate (and a bit obsessive from time to time)
procrastinator
currently celebrating the beauty of my path (my own beauty)
and perhaps, finally satisfied, appeased

DAY 365+82

true friends come in all forms
can be found in every context, 
in any moment of your life

They make you feel important, wise, 
they offer support, sense of belonging, 
unconditional help that makes you grow, 
a shoulder to cry on quietly 

They comfort you even without speaking,  
stay with you along bad days 
and sad day, and good days,
and go with you without complaining 

They are a source of joy,
a wonderful reason to live for,
an accidental gift, an unexpected privilege

They open a gateway to life, 
make you go deeper into yourself 
and always are there for you 

That´s why I have to say 
true friends come in all forms, 
can be found in every context, 
in any moment of your life

Indeed a true friend can be 
a person, a tree, a book, 
a sweet orange and white cat 
who has accompanied you, loved you,
for a very long, long time 

She knows well how to wait, 
and masters the art of restfulness 
she also knows how to play, 
and masters the art of acceptance 


A sweet orange and white cat 
that has been walking with me 
during the last fifteen long years 

my cat, my teacher, my friend



Six Words Fridays: Joy

DAY 365+78

me and the birds

I went to the park the other day, still thinking about events of past week, trying to keep on slowing down my mind and recovering peace 


The afternoon was cloudy and the predicted rain seemed to be delayed, the park was lonely and quiet:

paths looked like no one had never ever walked through them,

trees were having sweet conversations by shaking their leaves,

bloomed flowers were trembling and rustling while opening their core to observers,

the wind was sighing subtlely and the world seemed to get around on tiptoe


But birds were flapping their wings, pecking about. They were twittering like there was not tomorrow:

defying silence

singing their joy

dancing their little dances

celebrating their tiny epiphanies

without paying attention to weather forecast, omitting past resentments


Life looks so perfect today, I said to myself. And then, I rectified and said, Life is perfect now, because indeed it was. And suddenly, this acknowledgement gained importance, made sense, and dealing with the hard stuff in my work seemed much easier to me


Life can be not that that perfect every day and we don´t have to feign such thing, we just have to stay with it a big longer every time. This is the training we need to appreciate the sweet moments that everydayness always brings and to be able to recognize (and enjoy!) the perfect days which come to meet us

If we persist in doing that, when those moments and days will arrive we ´ll not waste our time having regrets, longing for what we have had and we have lost or dreaming of the bright days to come, on the contrary:

we´ll be able to sing our joy,

dance our little dances

and celebrate our tiny epiphanies

DAY 365+71

when life hurts

Sometimes, the only thing we can do is try to remember that light will shine again
try to hold this hope with our tired (and wounded) heart that wants to give up
try to trust life, even when it is unfair and violent, and makes us doubt about our own common sense
try to keep the faith in human beings (in ourselves) even when we feel betrayed
try to hold back our -often justified- anger and pray to be saved from our own fire
try to calm down and let go bitterness, ire, sadness and act as if life were not so confused and turbulent 


Sometimes, the only thing we can do is try to look for that little ounce of peace inside us 
try to cultivate joy, even when our mood is dark and acrimony is in the air 
try to stop resentment and forgive or at least, forget (or vice versa) 
try to counteract frustration with acceptance, disappointment with humbleness 
try to calm down and focus -once again- on life little gifts 


Sometimes, the only thing we can do is abandon expectations (even when deep inside we have always thought that we know what we want, what we deserve) 
and surrender to what is happening even when it hurts (more if it hurts) 
and renounce control and embrace acquiescence 
and bow down to reality again and again 


Sometimes, the only thing we can do is remember that buds will bloom someday again 
and trust that meanwhile, we´ll learn to appreciate the beauty of bare branches and fallen petals 


And we shall learn, no doubt, we´ll do it. Because this is a path meant to open our eyes. This is a path that will force us to get real. This is a path that will teach us how to deal with pain. This is a path that will unravel the beauty of simple days as they are 

...this is the path that is leading me to discover bliss amid chaos 

DAY 365+59

spring cleaning

I have not become familiar with this concept till I started to read books (and later blogs) by writers from the northern side of northern hemisphere. We live in a sort of eternal spring here, so this equinox often goes unnoticed

In fact, we coexist the whole year with open windows, flowering plants, green leaves, sun rays and clothes hanged out to dry due to our mild weather, and we can clean the house from top to bottom whenever we want to. Therefore, we don´t usually plan special celebrations or chores this season

However, I have learned to appreciate this tradition, so during my Easter vacations I will spend a few days cleaning up and rearranging things at home

This morning, while I was attempting to make some lists in order to figure out the best way to do all the things I want to do without consuming all my free time, I discovered myself thrilled with the possibility of starting to empty the wardrobes or throwing out paper piles. To be honest, this find amazed me a bit (I am not so very fond of housework), so I left aside the notebook, and I started to think why I was so eager to start

And then I remembered what usually happens:

I implement easier -and simpler- ways to deal with things. And order creates beauty

I pay renewed attention to the needs of the house inhabitants to express themselves by making room for their specificities. And respect creates balance

I recover a certain sense of austerity because I often realize that I already have all I need to live. And the possibility of refraining from excess, creates abundance

I take time to leaf through my books or wash up my teapots delicately and they stop being just objects and start to be outlines of my story. And memories create gratitude

All these things purify my living space, and this renews the energy that is stagnant and is not flowing properly. And neat energy creates harmony

I develop a sort of meditative state while doing the tasks which leads me to cleanse also some of the clutter inside me. And inner work creates joy...

Unexpectedly, I´ve realized that this is maybe one of the main reasons why I plan cleanings

The clutter inside me is all about cognitive biases which create wrong ways to stay in the present because they make me prone to hyper-generalization, oversimplifying, negative filters, polarized thoughts, hyper-control, emotional reasoning, projection and self-accusation. Of course, they (and their consequences) have to be examined in detail, but once this effort is done, they must be deconstructed

As far as I am concerned, this is the ultimate challenge of my inner work. It´s not enough knowing and understanding, I need to internalize what I have learned and translate it into new actions and behaviors, and this happens in a level which is not accessible for the mind. It happens in the place we call conscience where we work without schedule, where knowledge becomes wisdom

Going there can be easy sometimes, but if you are like me, from time to time you will need something drastic to find the correct gateway to it. In particular, when anxiety is in the air. In this cases, when silence and meditation; walks, photography and prayers; creating or journaling are not working as well as they usually do, I resort to house reorganization

I do it slowly, methodically, room after room, day after day. I take ownership of my outer space and suddenly, I am inside me again. And from inside, I change


Cross-posted at Vision and Verb, yesterday. Many other women share their passion for creativity and words there, please visit us, it is a wonderful site

There you will find also a Card Shoppe. For every greeting card sold, the profit will accrue in allotments of $25 each to be given as loans to men and women around the world who are starting their own businesses. We have chosen the non-profit organization KIVA as the conduit for our giving back

You can send a love note to a friend and make a difference in the world

DAY 365+48

it´s all about love

... So in my previous post I committed myself to talk about this topic, but when I started to write nothing interesting came to my mind

I started this paragraph a few times, but sometimes the sentences sounded too grandiloquent, and others they seemed clichés or were just trivial. Love is the ultimate motivation of any human being but talking about it is not that easy, maybe because it´s the most complex emotion we can feel and the least homogeneous: it is made of patches of this and that. Patches which can´t be measured in order to show an accurate description of what love signifies to us or how we experience love

In fact, it´s much more facile to show simply what we have always love, what we have learnt to love, what we have come to love (even when we didn´t expect to) and what we are starting to love (even when we still find hard to do it). It´s said that we can be known by our fruits, so I hope this will let you know what love means to me

What I have always loved
Images. Eye-catching colors and forms. Silence, solitude and written words. Creating things. My friends and beloved ones. Chocolate and books

feeling inspired
constancy 
musing on the world around me


What I have learnt to love
Simplicity. Teaching. Walks and healthy foods. Boundaries and lightness. My inner world

feeling powerful
serenity 
making pauses


What I have come to love (even when I didn´t expect to)
Cats, photography and the spiritual word. Visibility and forgiveness . "Imperfect" things. My destiny and my vision

feeling vulnerable
company
accepting life and persons as they are 


What I am starting to love (even when I still find hard to do it)
Day dreaming.Fruits. Detachment. Passing time

feeling imperfect
uncertainty 
being myself

I am linking to Simple things Sunday

DAY 365+46

time´s little offerings

When I first saw this photo I didn´t think of publishing it. Maybe because when we take a photo of a butterfly we want to capture its awesome -yet ephemeral- beauty, as it is the archetype of grace and we are not looking for the real living creature behind it

 But the more I thought of it, the more I felt the urge to publish it. While I was editing it, I realized that this image -the capture itself and what it conveyed- somehow illustrated some of the finds  that are helping me to live much more peacefully. Here are some of them:  

We are all damaged. Some way or another we all carry some pain, disappointments, failures. But there is so much beauty and light in us that if we learn to focus on them we can keep on being marvelous creatures

Many of us have the sense that we have to fly with broken wings. It can be true but this doesn´t make us less competent; n the contrary, what we have overcame, makes us stronger and wiser

From time to time we have the sense that we won´t be able to meet the challenges, so we decide not to try it, but even a short flight is better to stay at home, feeling sorry for ourselves

We can feel ashamed, we can feel like the proverbial ugly ducky, but when we go outside we discover that there are many kindred spirit waiting for us, people from our own tribe, who are ready to embrace us regardless of our wounds

We can be concerned by what other people think about us, but there are tons of wonderful flowers and sun rays to enjoy, many adventures to live, many roads to walk, so we can´t live pleasing others. At the end of the day the more important thing is if we have pleased ourselves

We can think we are not beautiful enough, but when we cultivate passion, joy and authenticity, charm comes alone. We can think we are not good enough but when we say yes to ourselves, we find acceptance (and love) everywhere

We can be angry with ourselves and the whole universe. But believe me, this doesn´t make us any good. When we let our hearts go to us, and are able to feel compassion and see this existence as an opportunity to bloom (not a suffering trip) we start to really appreciate our journeys

We can take pleasure in the past, but remember, while we are doing that minutes are withering, days are fading away, dreams die 

We can despise ourselves, but if we respect ourselves instead, if we become aware of our uniqueness and we opt for visibility we will end up admitting that we are more alluring, clever, courageous and interesting than we had imagined. We will end up admitting that we are perfect as we are

... and we will realize that life is indeed wonderful


Sweet Shot Tuesday  Walk and Click Wednesday

DAY 365+40

Why?

Why am I doing this? 

I should be productive and efficient and much more ambitious. I should target my energies towards improving my professional career. I should be checking my schedule, developing important projects. I should be trying to meet the right people, to stay in the right place and finding ways to achieving new merits. I should be interested in reputation, success or influence. I should be looking for the sort of prestige that gives glamour and social status. I should build up a conventional life

That´s what many persons around me are doing: they are trying to gather tangible evidences of their goodness, of their competence, of their charm... and maybe I should be doing the same. But I don´t manage to persuade myself to do it

I want time to bring conciousness to my life

I want to do my work slowly and enjoy the tiny moments of awareness of my students

I want to slow down and make pauses

I want to muse on the meaning of things. I want to hear the big silence inside me and pay attention to the whispering voice of my soul

I want to experience moments of reverie and moments of sudden revelations.

I want to be open to what comes to meet me. I want to cultivate presence and intention. I want to learn more about the world around me and to let go what have imprisoned me. I want to have fun and play.

I want to feel amazed. I want to cultivate joy and simplicity

I want to give up futility

I want to relinquish vanity

... I want time to come here and make the hidden beauty of my life visible


Linking to:

Inspire me Fridays   Favorite Photo Friday   Photo Art Friday   Friendship Friday

DAY 365+31

seven letters, 365 days

I find really captivating choosing one word for the year. Indeed I´ve been doing such thing along the past six years or so and I´ve loved the results. Even when I write also some resolutions, having a word is wonderful because it works like a filter through which I can analyze the experiences of the year or make some of them come to light 

My word for 2013 is respect

This year I want my relationships with others living beings, with myself and with my context to be much more respectful in a balanced sense of the word

I´ll try not to criticize or censure others behaviors and I am not going to bring them out of the consequences of their acts. I´ll let them live their own process

I´ll try to consider others diversity, without giving up my own difference

I´ll show an attitude of esteem towards others feelings, but without forgetting my own sentiments

I´ll try not to permit any behavior that enables abuse to continues in my family or my work, not by changing others,  but by changing myself and my levels of tolerance

I´ll set steady and healthy boundaries 

I´ll  honor my own needs, my own perspectives, my own wishes and dreams. I am not going to pass them over, because I am too busy taking care of any other person, except of me 

I´ll  honor my own truth. I am not going to hide it or sweetened it because I yearn for others approval. Indeed, I am not going to look for it anymore

I´ll  pay proper attention to what happens around me and inside me: I´ll try to stay connected to nature cycles, hear universe messages, be kind to my body, stay true to my values and follow my soul´s call

I´ll try not to permit anything that could damage my self-confidence in any way and I´ll cultivate self-respect


Note: This is the final installment of my self portrait challenge, 48 selfies over 12 months. I will talk about this journey soon. If you want to see them all follow this link

DAY 365+28

my pledge

keep on learning 

try to inspire and feel inspired

spread the light

stay balanced and visible

cultivate serenity

feel steady and creative

preserve healthy boundaries and generosity

enjoy my gifts

look for beauty

let go pain

develop gratitude and kindness

avoid drama 

feel powerful and proud

acknowledge abundance

practice mindfulness

be brave and authentic

expect nothing, appreciate anything

stay true to my own process

pray for clarity

validate myself

believe in miracles

live with intention and joy

accept guidance

aspire to wisdom

demand (and show) respect

play freely

have fun

make pauses

become friend to myself

attract love

share gently


...fly without concern

DAY 365+22

this moment is my master
 
I know that a kind of sadness has pervaded my latest writings so most of the persons that read them see this side of me even those who have been reading me for a time now. I would have this impression too in their case ... maybe because sorrow cause a deeper impact on us that contentment, or because the more recent feeling seem to be more authentic than the older one, when indeed, grief and gladness are not mutually exclusive and our daily life is a melting-pot of emotions 

We have many facets,  but when we insist on one of them for a time, persons around us are prone to forget the rest of them, simply because we omit their existence

This has happened to me lately. Many of my words have had a mist of pain. I´ve been solving some painful matters and I am somehow closing a cycle, something that it´s itself a great new but has a bittersweet side. This has made you want to show me your support. This makes my days much brighter. I feel so very grateful for having you all in my life. Every time I read one of your comments I start to connect to all my inner joy and to the tiny wisdom that I have achieved along my journey 

I can understand they have gone unnoticed as I am not giving them power at this moment, but believe me, I am not only the anguish and desolation that  I am letting be seen now, I am also the delight and amazement I have shown before. I am merriment and calm, peace and enthusiasm

In fact, I can be the flower and the bare branch, the melancholic moom and the vibrant sun

the rose and the thistle

the obverse and the reverse

I try to be present when I am this or that. I try to  live what is and not to feel attached to one or another: I have learnt not to judge how I am feeling too hard and to accept both of them as equally important

I am  peeling off the layers and letting the masks aside because I want to reach a positive mood without repressing what is moving inside me, this entails contradictory emotions, but I feel safe and serene

...at the end of a day,  I am a simple soul walking my path armed only with a bunch of words, my camera and a wishful heart

DAY 365+21

Sometimes I forget what I have experienced,
the world I live in and I still hope for what I believe are the right things

I am not awaiting for great deeds, I am not looking for global peace or the extinction of violence although I dream of them, I am realistic. I am talking about those little steps that we can take in order to get closer to them 

I still hope for a single smile when glances are exchanged

I still hope for tiny gestures of thankfulness or acknowledgement

I still hope for kindness

I still hope for tender hugs

I still hope for gentle touches

I still hope for warm words

and for beauty and radiance and joy and authenticity

I still hope for devotion and reverence

I still hope for inspiration

I still for hope arms wide open

I still hope for goodwill

and for intelligence, and generosity, and empathy and a sense of connection

I still hope for good sense and character

I still hope for calm and cooperation

I still hope for some new healing moments every day

But I don´t hope for them to be only aimed at me, but at every single person in this small planet

You may say it can be disappointing, often it has been so. In particular, when I hoped for them in the wrong places.  But, generally speaking,  my hopes have proved not to be baseless: I´ve  found tons of gentleness, gratitude, benevolence, cheerfulness and inventiveness in this life of mine. I only have had  to look in the right direction

  Maybe that´s why I still hope... I still hope for more

and this is not a condemnation, it´s my everyday worship