DAY 364

at a bend in the road
I found the most amazing surprises 

I was looking for my always correct goals, trying to build up the most perfect life, ignoring my unease and all the good, precious things and persons that didn´t fit my unreachable ideal

I was involved in an endless steeplechase, trying to fix what was already right, trying to change what was immutable, trying to mend the universe itself

I was rejecting all the recurrent lessons that it was offering me. Lessons about boundaries, about perfectionism, about my self-demanding attitudes, about self-sacrifice and repression

I wasn´t paying attention to its signals, I wasn´t paying enough attention to the tiny inner voice that whispered inside me or to the glimpses of an alternative way of life where serenity could prevail

I was angry and obsessed and blinded by my need of approval I was angry and obsessed and blinded by my own suffering 

I was rushing to nowhere, trying to avoid the feeling that I was falling apart and I was crying behind the facade because deep inside me I knew that those were not the sensations I was looking for,  so a tiny gap appeared 

And then, at a bend in the road I found the most amazing surprises:

First, a few books talking about what was happening to me (!), and afterwards, tons of them. Books by persons who were giving voice to my feelings, books by persons who had been able to move toward a more peaceful life, and after them: the messages, the persons, the coincidences and happy accidents, the quotes found by chance, the unexpected epiphanies, the work

Later on, I found my intuition, the changing of some sentiments and thoughts into another and a sort of clarity and awareness


And finally, at a bend in the road,  I found myself and I discovered that indeed, walking my path is my goal