DAY 199

about past, memories and forgiveness II


No matter how traumatic or pleasant our past was. The only important moment is the present one, and the only reason why we should explore our memories is to improve our current life. Of course, this won´t happen automatically, when we face up our past consciously, we´ll have up and downs, but our aim must be finding a true healing. In other words, our aim must be seeking for balance and inner peace

According to my experience, this will involve huge doses of forgiveness, benevolence and compassion. When I first start this task my usual anger increased alarmingly. But in fact, I was making this work to stop anger and unease, so I had no option but keep on trying

To be honest, it hasn´t been a bed of roses: like any other cleansing process, some of its parts have been painful but once I rid of the unwanted feelings, I started to feel its benefits

One of the most powerful practice that I have done with regard to this issue (and I still do it from time to time), was forgiving everyone for everything, even myself

During a long time, every evening, I lighted a candle,  I started to recite my series of names and after every name, I said: I forgive you and I apologize for any damage I could cause you

At the very beginning, I found hard even mentioning some names and I felt shocked for my own sentiments because they were bitterly hostile. Curiously enough, and painfully enough, my own name was among those names

It took time, but a moment arrived when I started to feel less angry and calmer. This was one of the most important step I have ever taken to conquer serenity and joy. It  triggered a lot of reactions and decision making that helped me to keep on healing... but this is another story