|at the old home|
Looking at my mom now, I wonder where the years have gone. As when I am anxious, I tend to be pessimistic, I always think first about what we are losing, instead of thinking about what we have had and still have
So in order to focus on the positive, I make mental lists where I emphasize the importance of what we have lived. These lists allow me to count my blessings. When I do that, precious snippets of the experiences we have enjoyed together come to my mind in a flash. I can see them as clear as they were when they happened, but without sharp angles or bitter interpretations
I can see some significant moments: our first travel together to England when I was twelve; all the evenings we went for a swim when the beach was empty because my mother didn´t want people to see her while wearing her swimming suit; the day I defended my PH thesis and so on
But I can see also hundreds of tiny moments of our everyday life: moments around the table, moments in the kitchen, moments with the family and mainly moments of conversation: we have talked so much along the years about so many things... about our respective lives, about our dreams, projects and hobbies, about our family, about our problems, about life and spirituality, about pain and joy, about past, present and future...
Indeed I think this is the most important constant in our lives, the ability to share our thoughts and find new themes to explore -apart from the old ones- regardless our cultural and generational differences, regardles our context
This is something I have to be grateful for. Something I still have today. Something I have to remember when I slip into sadness or negativity
PS: My mother has been ill, she is getting better, and this is why I am behind with my post. Now that I am a bit quieter, I am transcribing my impressions of previous days