DAY 604

so here I am

My blog may be quiet, but the inner movement persists. Amidst the chaos of the everyday life I am feeling a flow of changes that go in several directions. I starting to go over new territories that are far away from my comfort zone, and feeling the need to create in a more systematic way, to develop a more consistent body of work, to connect my images and words through a predetermined argument, to stop doing this sporadically. 

Right now every single time I start to create (either privately or while participating in a working group, an online class et cetera) I feel the urge to examine some recurrent topics, to develop images able to illustrate certain stories… it happens even without noticing, even when prompts or discussion have little to do with them, even when I take photos or start to write without thinking much. 

It is something that comes from within, something that  has been awaiting to be showed, that cannot stay untold anymore and now is emerging.  I’ve been observing quietly what I have been doing and I have identified two big guidelines so far: 

One of them is about creativity, self-expression and inner voice. It is about all those things that makes me want to move forward, things that help me to stay linked to my true essence. It is about attaining joy and connection. It is about a sense of expansion. 

The other one is about healing, conditionings, self-knowledge and heritage. It is about ancestors and position, about gifts and secrets. It helps me to see that I am here for a specific reason, to understand better my life. It is about conquering peace and calm. It is about a sense of belonging. 

Those two big topics have obsessed me since I can remember, but it has been along the last years that they have been appear in a more explicit way. And I think I am ready to try to explore them thoroughly.  

I still have to think about concrete projects that will develop them, but I am trying to take it easy: I am recovering from what last year gave me (losses but also the chance to liberate myself and let go all the things that were moving me away from authenticity) and I feel exhausted. 

Even so, I can’t take the idea out of my head. I feel that this will drive me to the place where I want to be in this moment of my life. I know that this is the path that I have to follow in order to open myself to the world. Trough them I would be able to do what I want to do: help others to explore what make them move forward or acknowledge their mission in this world by using my images and words. 

I think that having limited myself to those two lines, and having described them is a decisive -yet tiny- step, and I am happy. I feel that it couldbe great. That it will work, but I don’t want to end up frustrated due to my lack of time (teaching at university can be demanding) or even more tired than I am right now. So although I  want to act as big as I dream, I am trying to accept that being overly hasty won’t be good for me.

However, I am planning to keep taking baby steps in the upcomming weeks… and to keep trusting that this will lead me to the life I dream of.