DAY 520

about readings and flowers

When I was much younger I read about the nature of time. Maybe this is one of the most universal concerns of human beings, so I know I am not the only one.

I read that ancient Egyptians thought they would live eternally as long as they were remembered while ancient Greeks made a difference between chronological and eternal time, the propitious time to approach challenges:chronos and kairos.

I read: there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens (Yes! Ecclesiastes), about how eternal life would be in various paradises and about the eternal return according to which the whole universe -including us- had been recurring and will continue to recur an infinite number of times.

I read that most schools of Buddhism believe that the way we experience time -as moving from past to present and future- is just an illusion. I tried also to understand time from the perspective of physics with not much success, I must say.

And I even remember reading why different cultures have different graphical representations of time: we -the occidental persons- are prone to think that past is behind us and the future in front of us, but many other persons live looking at their past -tradition, legacy of ancient generations etc.- and feel that the future is chasing them and not always for good.

But knowing those arguments didn´t make me feel at ease with this issue. Intellectually, I could understand what all this meant but I couldn´t stop thinking of the injustice of this existence.

The idea of death and time passing and loss tormented me and made me feel gripped by dread. As most of human beings when thinking doesn´t work, I struggled against this searching for new goals and challenges, rushing ahead with things but fear was always chasing me.

While I was trying to escape from my anguish, years came and went. A half of my life has passed by my side and I have come to understand that the only reason to be here is simply being here being me.

I am not here to conquer any other thing (or person) except myself

I am not here to win anything except the privilege of being myself

I am not here to demonstrate nothing to anyone except to myself

I am not here to please anyone except myself

I am not here to be true to any idea (or person) except to myself

I am not here to learn nothing except how to be myself and love others while they try to be themselves

There are not a reason why I should be here, nor a justification or an explanation except being here, do every single day what I have to do in order to explore the vast territory of myself and contribute to this world being who I really am. There not a purpose except being present in this unique life and find new ways to show up my authentic self. And that is the only thing I (we all) must do.

From this point of view all I have read makes sense. The nature of this life –with its sorrows and joys- makes sense: the now becomes eternity.

We are all inevitably involved in this amazing matter called life because we all are flowers blooming in a blooming universe, as Soen Nakagawa so poetically stated… either if we know it, or not (but feels better when we are aware of it).

Cross-posted at Vision and Verb on Wednesday. Many other women share their passion for creativity and words there, please visit us, it is a wonderful site 

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