DAY 365+8

seize your day

Time goes by so fast. I still remember being next to my mother playing with paper dolls while she was sewing and now she is 88 years old and I´ll be 48 next December

We have shared a whole life that hasn´t be always easy but I am prone to focus on the things we haven´t done yet (and probably will never be done) or on the anger and the sorrow for some circumstances and I forget all the moments we have shared, all the experiences we have live together, all we have learned, all the laughs and the fun... and there are tons of them

I try not to feel nostalgic about the lost opportunities, but from time to time I wonder if I should have done something else to get a biggest dose of joy and I regret not having been wiser, not having been aware before of the way to conquer a peaceful life. However, when I am centered and not sentimental and I study thoroughly the nature of any single second of our common life I only see perfection. And not only because they have led us to the present situation, but because we were living according the knowledge and beliefs we had in that stage of our lives

Often we justify our past because it has paved the road for the persons we are now, but somehow this invalidates the persons we were. Of course I am consequence of all my past experiences and learnings, and I am the person I am due to the things I have lived and the way I have dealt with them, but what happened to me has its own importance beyond this diachronic perspective. They are not significant because are concerned with the way in wich my personality has evolved, they are important because they have existed at one point in time that never will be back 
This is the only way I know we can pay authentic tribute to our past (and respect ourselves), not questioning it or making excuses for it but accepting it as it was 

When I look back starting from this premise I don´t judge.  I see love, I see pain, I see tenderness, I see naivety, I see anger, I see sparkles of lights and glimpses of wisdom, ignorance and good will, and fear, and faith.  I see generosity and moments of connection and much more,  but I am not too hard on me.  I don´t try to embellish facts, I don´t regret, complain or praise myself, I just bow down my head and keep on walking

Do you know why? because while I am trying to look for explanations and reasons this precious moment is rushing to oblivion

Today I am here, I worship only this instant not my past (nor my future, either). Only this day