DAY 240

don´t aim for perfection,
surrender completely to what is

A tiny voice is whispering me this phrase, once and again, from morning to night. I know I need to hear it and I know also that is my wiser side who is speaking softly to me

This time of the year is quite busy and I have felt exhausted, not to talk about the personal, professional and familiar circumstances and challenges that I am facing at the moment. This is a stage of deep changes inside and outside my world and this is making me feel stressed, so lately 
I´ve been  experiencing a lack of faith and confidence  

As a result the most precious gift I ever had: my ability for keeping my connection with my highest self -which has been developed after an arduous work- seemed to be vanishing. This has been happening for the latest weeks. Every time I´ve tried to meditate or looked for a contemplative mood tons of negative thoughts came to my mind, and I´ve ended up focusing on all the things that are going wrong

This frightened me and of course, made the situation even worse. Fear, is no doubt my weakest point, the one which can highly disturb my energy. And this has been a vicious circle of fear upon fear: all the circumstances I am experiencing have been increasing my anxiety and a sense of powerlessness and the fact I could not stop feeling helpless and out of control has made me feel much more anxious... and frightened

But last weekend I suddenly become aware of the real situation. And the real situation was that I was losing something that I already had, feeling concerned by things that couldn´t eventually happen or things that I couldn´t fix. I was missing my everyday life and ignoring real opportunities, because I was too busy feeling a deep self-pity. I was neglecting my inner practice because I was too absorbed looking for new problems and new tragedies

Now I am trying to go back to my own pace by recovering my previous attitude: I have learnt to behave as I want to be

This means that I usually don´t expect to see miracles around me, I behave like a person who sees miracles

I don´t expect to feel gratitude, amazement or joy, I behave like a grateful, amazed and joyful person

I don´t expect to find beauty, love or luck, I like a person who truly believes that beauty, love and luck are all around

I don´t expect to be guided, I behave like a person who accepts guidance and is ready to hear messages of the Universe

and so on

So along this week I´ve been trying not to be confident and faithful, but to behave like a person who really trusts her life and her path. And this is making a great difference


Introverted Art said...

You seem to be in the exact place I am at this time. I have been feeling exactly like you: tired, overwhelmed and so disconnected from that inner voice that used to be a clear guide to me. Sometimes life gets too fast, too messy, too noisy... Trusting your path and the wisdom of your highest self.

Sam said...

I felt this very same way recently, Zena! A spiral of negative thoughts & fear overtaking me. I wondered if it would end. I just wanted to run from the problems instead of facing them. I keep trying to think of what I need to learn from this...why was this happening - again!

I returned to looking inside - taking photos - reading a book on wishes - writing...and praying. I had to do the exact thing you say in your post...trust my life & my path - believe life is MY side - believe life (God) is conspiring for my good!

(((big hugs)))

Kathy, PaperPumpkin said...

I love this: behaving as it already IS a part of you and your life. I have been thinking so much lately about the power of this universe...

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