DAY 221

blessed

This is my contribution to photo-heart connection this month. Perfectionist, indecisive and a bit obssesive as I am, I usually take a lot of photos and even lots of takes of the same scene, because I always see new details or want to capture a new angle or preserve a different light... so past months I haven´t enjoyed myself when I had to choose only one, although the photos I had selected as being the most heartfelt and significant were only a few

Even so, I have appreciated this practice very much because part of my inner work involves dealing with my perfectionism which means dealing with decision making, taking the risk of being mistaken and accepting that this, anyway, won´t be so important (challenges are not easy when you want to do the right things at all costs)

But this month my experience has being completely different. I think this has happened due to two different reasons:

First, all the things I have been doing lately (publishing my photos, writing this blong, defying myself to try new things...) have increased my self-confidence, my openness and flexibility

Second, since I edited this photo I knew this would be my may´s choice. 


I took it by chance, last wednesday. During the morning I phoned my mom´s house because the day before she didn´t feel well and my brother told me that she was in the hospital because she was suffering an stomach upset. I phoned my sister, who was with her, and she told me that doctors wanted to keep our mom under observation 

And suddenly I felt totally anxious and frightened. I didn´t know really why... well, my mom is 87 years old and if I want to go to visit her I have to go by plane (one hour flight), but really news wasn´t that bad. However, all kind of negative thought went through my mind and I felt like crying... indeed, I cried a bit 

At certain moment I became aware of my attitude (I was slipping into drama so fast!) and decided to calm myself down. So I went to my altar, a place where I meditate and pray and lighted a candle... and there, this orchid was flowering, like a godsend that called for tranquility, thankfulness and hope 


Late that evening, at half past eight, my mom left the hospital and went home. She was diagnosed as having gastro-enteritis. She is a bit weak at this moment but feeling a lot better