As my mother is reaching an old age, I´m quite concerned by her needs. But sometimes, I discover myself trying to prevent her just being an old lady even when I know that this is a life stage that she has to live. Undoubtedly, this stage is cognitively shocking because it breaks our perception of our parents... but it´s also painful and unavoidable, so we must handle it with care
When we love someone, sometimes it is hard to differentiate between affection and control. Quite often we do things (with the best of intentions) which prevent those we love staying present in their own lives. As we attempt to avoid them suffering we steal their freedom and their dignity.
We only want them to be happy, but the thing is that every person has their own path and we have to trust them or at least, we have to let them live what they are living, even when this means they can be not so happy all the time. Of course, we can help and stay near, and make things easier but we can´t change the normal course of events
If we allow others living their own process, we allow ourselves to do exactly the same. As I am allowing my mother to find her way into this stage of her life, I am allowing myself to find my way into this stage of my life. And so I am also finding a new way to bring her needs into line with my own needs
This is not always easy, but I´m glad I´m doing it
here: some of my mom´s consommé cups