DAY 591

sigh of relief

Grief is still here,
and sadness and the sense of emptiness.

And the lack of certainties,
and the incredulity, 
and the sorrow. 

And the astonishment,
and the tears.

And even so,
I still can find joy and beauty in the little things.

I am tempted to feel guilty,
I do feel odd.

And even so,
I cherish this ability of mine
because I know it is my anchor
and my lifesaver.

It helps me to keep a sense of fulfillment,
a sense of belonging,
a sense of amazement.

And maybe someday,
not today
nor tomorrow... someday,
this pain will be less sharp,
the wound less deep,
and the living experience, smoother. 

Meanwhile,
I appreciate the allure of this world
when it catches me by surprise.

Meanwhile,
I treasure these tiny moments of unexpected joy,
of unexpected beauty.

Because I know that without them,
I would be lost.