DAY 582

in {and out} Week 17: Flowers

I am almost a newcomer to photography. My husband always thought that I could develop my creativity through it, but I only started to contemplate that possibility after having my first digital camera and taking an on-line class about self-portraiture (almost by chance). Once that happened, I began to explore the world around me with the camera in my hand and I realized that I just loved it. 

Photography has been a delightful activity along the last four years, it has helped me to improve my inner work which is quite important to me, but it has also permitted me to figure out how my creative mind works.

When I was young  I aspired to develop an artistic career (something that I never did), so I though a lot about what I should create and always the same type of things came to my mind: something impressive, complex or very profound from an intellectual point of view. But when I started to create I wasn´t able to make something like that. I created things that were symbolic and very detailed, precise, well executed and even imaginative but not intense or dramatic. Professors encouraged me to develop my talent but I simply couldn´t believe in it. I concluded that I had not what an artist needs and this (along with another issues) prevented me to look for specialized training. I kept creating but I choose to study education instead of arts.

When I started to take photos on a regular basis,  soon I felt drawn to certain kind of images and compositions. And soon, my prejudices about the advisability of that approach arose. I wanted to take street photos, black and white portraits, images that would reveal hidden aspects of society but once again I was caught up in contradictory feeling.  My mind wanted to try all that,  but my heart was fascinated with simple scenes of the domestic life, with little graces of everydayness and often fell victim to nature´s charms.

A voice inside my mind shouted for pain every time I took a photo following my heart.  After every click of the camera´s release, I had to listen: "Flowers, birds and cups of tea again, seriously?", but I was overflowing with joy and my creativity was increasing, so I learnt to ignore it, something I was not able to do when I was much younger. This allowed me to explore and refine my style and to admit that I am a person oriented to understand the whole picture through the close examination of all its details.

Now I don´t refuse to be who I am. I  pay attention to what often gets unnoticed, appreciate what is part of my daily life and compose using average items. I try to highlight the extraordinary in the ordinary, I like little things and I have come to accept that  I prefer to capture a fallen leave that a whole forest, an almost withered flower that a whole sophisticated bouquet. 

Through all this process I have brought to light what my soul needs (literally and figuratively) to grow -regardless of the resistance of my mind and my ego- and therefore, I have learnt to appreciate what I love to capture.

 I have learnt to appreciate what is unexceptional and unremarkable; myself and the life I live;  the mundane and the humble trifles that make my life easier, and much more joyful.

I have learnt not to expect what is unusual or striking to be happy and to honor the unexpected beauty that always find when I go over my path.


This entry is part of a project I am developing with my friend Montse Gallardo. We´ll share a photo every week during 2015. Her photos will be always taken outside and my photos will be indoor shots only. We have created a Facebook page: In and Out. 52 weeks where you can see all the photos of the project.