DAY 505

ins and outs

As you may already know, I am living my year of celebration. It is a way to honor the place where I am right now (metaphorically speaking). I want to live this in process, this means that I am only determined to keep my celebration mood but I don´t want to plan anything ahead and I try to await what comes to meet me.

This has caused me some unease, because I was not sure how I would be able to set a practice without planning (what if inspiration never arrives?) or  how I would be able to keep a mood that is strange to me without an extra effort.

Being blissfully spontaneous is not my strongest point and proclaiming what makes me happy has never been my style. I have no problems with talking about many subjects or showing vulnerability (something that I have learnt that makes me stronger) or sadness and of course, anger, but expressing joy is challenging to me in certain contexts or moments.

Don´t get me wrong, I am not a bad-tempered person and I am not shy, either. I am an introvert that usually finds much easier to rejoice in things privately if necessary (a way to celebrate), than sharing them, or does any other thing to make my -positive- feelings evident. But how can one goes through a year of celebration -the kind of year I have in mind- without doing it?.

However, as the week progressed, a certain pace has begun to take form. This pace is made of little and specific daily actions and I am discovering that praising publicly what I find interesting, appealing, beautiful or comforting (you name it) about other persons, or even about myself, is not so difficult as I thought. Indeed, I am getting used to do it quickly, something inconceivable only a few months ago... is this a proof of the power of intention?.

When I am working with my students, or doing any other activity, at home or just walking in the city, I try to be more assertive in general terms, but in particular, regarding the good things. This is making a great difference: I feel more motivated and enthusiastic and mindful (and connected to others!) but what is more important, through the tiny, ordinary things, I am getting in touch with some big things that deserve celebration in my life. Things that –now I see- have gone unnoticed or I have given for granted, but won´t continue to be that way.

I´ll start a series of post about them next week... would you come to celebrate with me?.

Hope so. Much Love.

Z.