DAY 346

identity

I think that one of the things that has helped me more to deal with the most difficult circumstances of my life has been a certain sense of oneness that I have always felt

Regardless my confusion along some periods and all the things that I have had to balance and regulate, I have always felt that deep inside me there was an unique core which made me be myself, someone as unusual, special and exceptional as any other one, someone peerless who deserved to be seen, appreciated

This didn´t make me happy because one of my biggest frustrations came from what I perceived as a lack of appreciation and validation of other people, so I rearranged my whole life in order to reverse this tendency. But the more I did that, the more that unique core became invisible to others and even to me. And the more this happened, the more frustrated I felt, and more I had the sense that something was wrong in my life

All this occurred because I was not clear about the great importance of my own attitudes in this process

I have talked about this in many previous post so I won´t go into this topic in depth, suffice is to say that through my search I discovered the main role I was developing in this situation and realized that I had to appreciate and validate myself first if I wanted to get the same thing from other people

I started to be gentler with myself, to explore the reasons why I had felt that way during all my life and mainly, my inner self. I learnt to feed and nurture all the good things that are part of it and to let that unique core (which I had always felt inside me)  to bloom and expand. And I undertook this healing journey that still lasts, and has led me to a territory where loving myself is a real possibility

The funny things is that now I have strengthened my own identity and the relationship with myself, I can´t care less the others opinions. Of course, I am grateful for their love but I am not willing to live my life according to their expectations... not anymore.  I rather prefer to stay true to who I am and keep in touch with my center.

Because this center, although it has been weakened quite often, is not contrived or false, is not a simple copy of something real, it´s authentic, genuine and trustworthy

It´s the true essence of what I´ve always been and I will always be. It´s eternal and in constant evolution and due to this, it is intimately close to the universe wisdom and its guidance. And nothing compares to this