DAY 291

back to the center 
continuation

but next to the center there is a black hole

it´s hard to say it this way, I know, but I am so very tired of feign that it is not there


I have emerged from it

and I´ve stretched out my soul to catch light´s dust

trying to hold tight those who I loved so much, at the same time,

trying to lead them to a safe place,

trying to protect them,

trying to advice those who didn´t want to hear me, to alert them to the danger


it was a huge effort and not always productive:

the sense of family was blown up

and I leapt into space

only to discover that I could fly


I could fly far away from the black hole made of lies, secrets, misunderstandings, manipulation, insanity...

but once and again I was back to look after the castaways because they were so fragile, so vulnerable

and to warn those who still were travelling across that stormy sea about the risks


and once and again obscurity caught me and once and again its bottomless depth took me by surprise

but I wasn´t meant to be a critter of the abyss, I was meant to explore light, so I survived


I survived because I had to be here. I survived because I had to claim clarity. I survived because I had to stay here, right now, beside my mother´s armchair making this stage of her life easier. I survived because I had something to say. I survived because deep inside I knew that beyond the life I was living, there was a haven of peace where I could be renewed


PS: My mother has been seriously ill, she is getting better, and this is why I am behind with my post. Now that I am a bit quieter, I am transcribing my impressions of previous days