DAY 58

Christmas awakes my contradiction (2)

Once I let go negative prejudices about my own wishes and dreams, and I accepted that I am a working woman who works in a very demanding field where domesticity is  totally discredited, and also finds domestic project quite appealing (even when I don´t want to be only a housekeeper) I started to feel relieved and inspired.

I settled myself into my own beliefs and I understood that I could have the best of both worlds. The only thing I had to do was to be clear about what did I want (and what I didn´t want) from each of them

Thanks to this, I discovered that I want to go outside and develop my professional skills, (indeed I think I´m a teacher at soul) and I want to come back home and find a pleasant and domestic atmosphere. I understood that this doesn´t mean to focus only on decoration or cleaning but also on other details. And last, but not least, I created my own definition of home

After thinking of it, I found out that the things I loved best are:

- hand-made things and a slightly shabby chic style

- objects that a granny can love: old fashioned patterns, embroided napkins and fine china

- cozy and inviting spaces that make me want to stay at home and enjoy homey tasks

- daily routines that allow me to weave quietness and gentle care into domestic realm

Once I realized that, I´ve had to  "translate" all this into practical recipes according to my own life experience. In other words, I´ve had to recreate my dreams of a domestic paradise according to my possibilities, my abilities, wishes and tastes

At the end, it doesn´t turn out to be made of gingerbread houses, hand-knitted socks and flowery aprons, geometric quilts, crochet glovers, hand made bread or intricate cupcakes... it mainly means makeovers, altered furniture, warm colors, craft projects, whimsy collections, vintage fabrics, soulful memories scattered all over the rooms and glimpses of my spiritual life

Now I delight in personal details and find pleasure in my own way of living... and I have smoothed out my inflexibility

Even so, when Christmas arrives, somehow it triggers my contradictions once again, I feel like I´m assuming a false identity in both fields. Maybe this happens because I´ve started to overcome them recently. Anyway, facing this season every year is helping me to be more and more aware of them and more convinced of my choices
Here: My Christmas Village it consists of porcelain pieces of Villeroy and Boch my husband gave me the first piece as a birthday present when I was 40 and now he gives me a new one each birthday

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