DAY 365+105

this tiny chink touched my heart,

this small narrow opening made me think about how everything started, 

this dark crack among the quiet facades led my mind to go back to those days

when the light came in through the countless fissures

that my armor had

and went into the dark chambers of my soul

through its half-opened doors.

I had been yearning for some kind of confidence,

some kind of tranquility,

some kind of peace…

awaiting them from the outer world.

I had been searching for some kind of bliss

along the whole planet.

I had felt invisible

and had done my work to keep the invisibility

because my vision, my true self, seemed to be unimportant.

But then one day (one year, one decade) 

I crumbled under the strain between the person who I was pretending to be and the one I really was

and I gave up control (I had had enough)

and the retaining walls started to fall down

and the clarity permeated my inner world…

only to show me that confidence, tranquility, peace and bliss had always been there.