2.3.14

DAY 511

blessed with being here

Two Fridays ago, I was working; I was giving a seminar to some of my practice students, when someone knocked at the door. I thought the following students were impatient (when I am behind schedule my students usually knock just to let me know that they are there), but it was my  husband´s daughter who was carrying a big -and beautiful- bouquet of flowers.

She gave it to me, I hugged her and she went away leaving me with the flowers. This only lasted a few minutes as I was working (and to be honest, too shocked to say or do anything else). Of course, my students were enjoying (and delighting in) the whole scene.

I went back to my table and understood that I had to tell them that my husband was working outside the country. I told them that the next-to-last time he left home it took him three months to come back, so this time I didn´t want him to go and this was his way to say me that I was not alone. My students found the story (which I had to repeat along every seminar because the bouquet was laying on a chair beside me all day long) very romantic and so do I. I am sure you have guessed it was the morning of St. Valentine day.

Along the following days I tried to capture the beauty of the flowers and I have lovely photos to document what is going to be a beautiful memory and a funny anecdote. I wanted to publish some of them, but they were not appealing enough. However, when I was dismantling the bouquet, I attempted a few shots more. I had almost forgotten them till I looked for my Photo-Heart Connection of February.

When I saw this (nearly withered) gerbera daisy, it touched my heart, not only because it reminds me what I have told you above, but because it illustrates something that is becoming a deep truth in my current life: time passing is not always that bad, it allows us to gain access to new dimensions of ourselves and to new perceptions of what this existence is about.

While contemplating it, I thought that we shouldn´t express ourselves in decadence terms only. We should express ourselves in growing terms also.

Time has passed, it´s true. I am not that young and my relationship with my husband has gone through a long way, but now I feel that love, understanding, authenticity and appreciation are more present in my life than ever before… and the way we both are coping with our current situation, the way I made visible to my students my sadness, this simple photo are just tiny examples.

I am not aged, worn or faded (even when I am tempted to think so), I am awake.



17 comments:

Cathy H. said...

What a beautiful story connected to your image! I like your last sentence very much. I, too, feel I am awake!

nancyjean said...

oh ... such a wonderful post! Love your withered flower too!

Sarah Huizenga said...

Lovely shot and what a wonderful story.

smiles, Sharon said...

A heartfelt and intimate story to share. Separation is never easy. Your daisy has had a full life and given joy to you. The photo is perfect for your story. The best to you.

Adrienne said...

Such a sweet story - and a genuinely lovely valentines tale! So much of this I relate to. I had some tulips that I kept around until their petals were falling...and I spent so much time photographing them. There was something so poignant about the beauty I saw as they were 'fading' - Thanks for sharing!!

seabluelee said...

I love your closeup of the drooping flower, and the b&w processing is beautiful with its soft tones and the way the light shines through the petals. I always find your Photo-Heart posts to be moving, and this was no exception.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

How so very wonderful of your husband to do this :) very romantic!

Kathryn said...

What a beautiful post, it gave me goosebumps. My husband travels a lot but not for longer than a week at any one time. I can only imagine how difficult it is being separate from the one you love.

gina said...

Such a striking image and story to go with it! Your last sentence struck such a chord with me:
"I am not aged, worn, or faded .....I am awake."
What a wonderful point of view. Thank you!

Marcie said...

Aging is such a gift! Love how you've expressed your comfort and ease and appreciation for yourself and life and your relationships. It only gets better and better...:-)!

Deborah Tisch said...

Beautiful, wise words, Zena.

Miriam said...

This is such a beautiful Photo Heart Connection. It's strange, over the past little while I have stopped taking pictures of a bouquet of flowers. The whole doesn't seem to tell the story but either taking one out or waiting until they start to fade makes for a beautiful picture and memory. Thank you for taking the time to comment on my post.

Suzette Rothlisberger said...

I always love your words and images...Beautifully done!

MaggieGem said...

Great post... To be awake is to be alive, to be aware!

Lovely image!

Funkyrosebud said...

what a beautiful story - love your conclusions about time passing

Aga Gasiniak said...

Beautiful and heart warming story, Zena. It is good to visit your healing moments again. I actually realized that I missed you! Big, big hugs for you!
p.s. stunning and delicate photos of flowers!

Prairie Jill said...

Gorgeous photograph, and a lovely story. A perfect photo-heart connection.

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