|blessed with being here|
Two Fridays ago, I was working; I was giving a seminar to some of my practice students, when someone knocked at the door. I thought the following students were impatient (when I am behind schedule my students usually knock just to let me know that they are there), but it was my husband´s daughter who was carrying a big -and beautiful- bouquet of flowers.
She gave it to me, I hugged her and she went away leaving me with the flowers. This only lasted a few minutes as I was working (and to be honest, too shocked to say or do anything else). Of course, my students were enjoying (and delighting in) the whole scene.
I went back to my table and understood that I had to tell them that my husband was working outside the country. I told them that the next-to-last time he left home it took him three months to come back, so this time I didn´t want him to go and this was his way to say me that I was not alone. My students found the story (which I had to repeat along every seminar because the bouquet was laying on a chair beside me all day long) very romantic and so do I. I am sure you have guessed it was the morning of St. Valentine day.
Along the following days I tried to capture the beauty of the flowers and I have lovely photos to document what is going to be a beautiful memory and a funny anecdote. I wanted to publish some of them, but they were not appealing enough. However, when I was dismantling the bouquet, I attempted a few shots more. I had almost forgotten them till I looked for my Photo-Heart Connection of February.
When I saw this (nearly withered) gerbera daisy, it touched my heart, not only because it reminds me what I have told you above, but because it illustrates something that is becoming a deep truth in my current life: time passing is not always that bad, it allows us to gain access to new dimensions of ourselves and to new perceptions of what this existence is about.
While contemplating it, I thought that we shouldn´t express ourselves in decadence terms only. We should express ourselves in growing terms also.
Time has passed, it´s true. I am not that young and my relationship with my husband has gone through a long way, but now I feel that love, understanding, authenticity and appreciation are more present in my life than ever before… and the way we both are coping with our current situation, the way I made visible to my students my sadness, this simple photo are just tiny examples.
I am not aged, worn or faded (even when I am tempted to think so), I am awake.