1.5.13

DAY 365+72

budding calm

This is my April´s contribution to Photo-Heart Connection. I was almost sure that this photo would be my choice when I edited it a few weeks ago, and today, while I was looking over my files, I felt irreversibly attracted to it again

There is something about its composition that makes me think of my love for painting, which date back to my early childhood and has accompanied me since then. It reminds me the blissful amazement that I´ve experienced looking at the artwork of great impressionism masters, maybe because it captures the effect of light at a particular time of the day or maybe because the background shows what seems quick brushstrokes of color...


But there is also a story behind it:

Every single time I go to the park next to my house I visit the rose garden. Somehow, that is a tribute to my mother who has always wanted to have a garden (and has never accomplished her dream) and adores flowers, in particular roses, so I go there and take a few photos. Most of the times I don´t publish or even edit them, I simply keep them. In my mind I am creating a rose garden for my mother, but I still am not clear about how it is going to be materialized, so I continue taking photos, trying to let the hurry aside and enjoy this dream, the dream I have inherited from her

A month before this photo was taken, I went to the rose garden a I found it totally lopped off. The stalks were so short that I had the feeling that the little garden wouldn´t be the same ever again. The place looked sad, I felt totally disheartened and the critic that lives inside me started to say me that time was not by my side (my mom will be 89 next November) and also, that I had been little diligent in carrying out that project. That´s what the inner critic does, you know: makes the most of emotional vulnerability, and causes you to feel shame

I felt a bit annoyed, even when I have become aware long ago of the true nature of this project, which is not only about my mother´s dream, but also about my need to reconnect with earth with my story and to heal transgerational traumas

The day I took this photo, I was reluctant to go outside with the camera. I was tired and it was too late, but finally I decided to do it. I went to the park, thinking that I could only walk, and headed towards the rose garden which were beautifully illuminated by the last sun rays. To my surprise, it was in bloom. Big roses and little buds were sharing the same space; color and fragrance were awesome and beauty was reigning everywhere

I was thrilled. Life seemed to be promising again. I thought of the old dream of my mother and wondered if someday (some way or another) it could come true. I breathed the scented air and I realized that I was not so interested in the answer. I looked at the roses that were not there only a few weeks ago and thought that life is sweet, yet unpredictable. And I felt that maybe (only, maybe) I was ready to deal with this: with unattainable dreams and pending projects; with intangible goals and pruned aspirations; with lessening opportunities and unexpected gifts and miracles. With life, disenchantment and hope

Today, I breathe in and I feel how the garden is flowering inside me. My inner critic remains silent

21 comments:

Aga Gasiniak said...

Beautiful tribute to your mum and also beautiful and delicate photo.

Susan said...

Great PHC story filled with emotion. I like the lone bloom in afloat a sea of abstract colors. I wonder how you will fill your mom's dream-in some obvious or covert manner-a creation that comes from within I suppose. or maybe it needs to stay in the imagination where it is more glorious there.
Beatiful image and words.

Lisa Gordon said...

A wonderful post, and such a beautiful photograph, Zena.
I'm glad you decided to take this walk!

Cathy H. said...

Beautiful post and photo that touches my heart.

Sarah Huizenga said...

Isn't it great when something that seems doomed turns into something beautiful. Lovely story behind the photo.

Wifsie said...

Healing takes place whether we believe it or not as long as we keep our hearts open. And that's what you did here, for yourself and your mother. Nature's conspiring to help you. How lovely!
Maryse

Barbara said...

So beautiful! I'm glad you went back. A friend of mine who knows about roses told me they should be cut back on Valentine's Day. The cutting triggers new growth - great symbolism for life!

Marisa said...

Beutiful post and i love this photo.

seabluelee said...

Every year, my husband's aunt would cut her roses back almost to the ground, leaving only three or four short branches on each plant. I thought she was crazy and they would all die. but every year, those roses would spring back to life, covered with thick, glossy new growth and huge, fragrant blooms.
I love the idea that you're collecting roses for your mother. That single bud is reaching for its full potential beauty with those soft blooms in back setting it a lovely example.

gina said...

Beautiful post, Zena! I have a special connection to roses too, as my mother was an avid gardener and we always had cut roses in the house. Whenever i see a rose, I think of her. So this post really resonated with me for many reasons.

Cindy Swainson said...

You know, Zena, I can follow your thought/heart process quite easily, comfortably...my elderly mother too is so much a part of me. And my acceptance of all the 'stuff in my head/heart' that needs tending.

xoxo

Michele Matucheski said...

I'm so glad you got yourself out for that walk that day, that this wonderful surprise was waiting for you in your mother's garden. That is how the soul rejuvenates and connects. Thanks for sharing your story.

http://vivhalliwell.com said...

A great story and how wonderful that you were almost compelled to go there and there were the roses, just waiting for you.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

Goodness this made me a little emotional...what an absolutely beautiful tribute :)

Miriam said...

Such lovely thoughts of your mother and a really beautiful picture. Make your photos into a book for her, you can look at them together in the winter...

Carolyn Phillips said...

A beautiful photo, made even more beautiful by the story behind it.

Kat Sloma said...

It's amazing the parallels of gardening and life, isn't it? Lovely image and I'm glad it brought forth such a powerful heart connection this month. Thank you for sharing in the Photo-Heart Connection!

Paula said...

So beautifully written; you touched my heart. It's amazing to me, what has the power to lift us up and get us going again. Your photo does evoke a painting...a lovely impressionsitc Monet sort of piece. Well done!

Elsie said...

realy touching photo and text.

Becs said...

Gorgeous photo and I loved reading your connection to it, so moving and beautifully expressed.

colorpoems said...

What a beautiful story. And a beautiful rose, looks like 'Double Delight'. If it is, it's a feast to the eyes and the scent will send you to the moon. I have one in my garden. Keep on with your dream, it'll manifest when the season is right.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...