DAY 365+79

ode to lightness

Ever heard the old trick question, "which weighs more a pound of feathers or a pound of gold?"

Well, when I was a little girl a boy asked me that question while we were on the playground. The answer was supposed to be neither of them, because both would be a pound, but I was too naive and I gave him the wrong answer. I was not very clear about what a pound was, but I adored feathers (they made me feel happy inside every time I touched them) so I was pretty sure that they would weigh less

After that, many things occurred. I became a young woman and read many books about metaphysical heaviness, levity and the consequence of dealing with an ephemeral life, where experiences are fleeting and nothing lasts forever. They explained how accepting this could be negative. They claimed that I had to struggle against this lack of weight of my existence because if not I would become passive, submissive, resigned

Later on, I got in touch with persons who talked about changing reality but not about changing themselves. I read and read, and listened and listened, but I always had the feeling that those argument were deceitful so I was not able to fit in the intellectual atmosphere of those years, even when I was meant to play an intellectual role due to my professional life

As years passed, I realized that I loved the social field which I had chosen, but I was not able to be as intense as expected. I was too pragmatic, and little existentialist and a bit anarchical. I didn´t like dogmas or doctrines and was not ready to consider sacred some ideas, whether they came from one side or the other. I also experienced an inexplicable (and almost undesiderable) longing for weightlessness. I grew apart from professional community and I grew up alone

I carried my strangeness like an injury, like a gift, without knowing well what to do with it. However, when my internal unease led me to look for answers, I started a new path and got in touch with different people. I read and read, and listened and listened, and learnt to consider lightness not as a fault, but as a virtue and I learnt to cultivate it through accepting what is

I´ve learnt to cultivate clarity through letting go false expectations and lies

I´ve learnt to be graceful through letting go harshness and rigidity

I´ve learnt to be gentle through letting go acrimony

I´ve learnt to cultivate joy through letting go drama

I´ve learnt to be serene through letting go perfectionism

I´ve learnt to cultivate spiritual insights through listening my soul and the world around me

I´ve learnt to dump ballast. And I´ve come to the conclusion that I was not so mistaken when I was a child, because indeed, a pound of feathers (of kindness, of peacefulness... you name it) weighs less than a pound of gold, of sadness, of pain... and makes us feel much happier inside


Cross-posted at Vision and Verb on Sunday. Many other women share their passion for creativity and words there, please visit us, it is a wonderful site

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