23.11.14

DAY 556

insight

When I first started this journey I used to have so many expectations. So many beliefs about all the things that I had to change, achieve, conquer or demonstrate

I used to have so many preconceived idea. So many beliefs about what would make me happy or proud of myself or pleased with my life.

I used to have so many prejudices. So many beliefs about what kind of experiences were worth living, what kind problems were worth thinking about, what kind of behaviors would increase my self-worth

I used to have so many opinions. So many beliefs about myself, about my own importance, my past, my future, my present, my life.

I used to have so many needs. Need to do the right thing, need to fit, need to be approved, need to be loved, need to be perfect, need to be forgiven, excused and also, compensated

I thought that my inner work would prove that I was right, would give me the power to success and to achieve self-satisfaction, the ability to make unquestionable decisions, would make me be more valuable… better than others, I thought that maybe it would redeem me but it has showed me that I was totally wrong.

It has showed me that my expectations, preconceived ideas, prejudices, opinions and needs were useless. Finally I am learning that life doesn´t have to be mended. Indeed, every moment is sacred.

Finally I am realizing that joy is an option, not a privilege.  I am understanding  the rationale of this existence which is a gift, a miracle, not something meant to be controlled, explained.

Finally I am admitting that I am (have ever been) a radiant being, that love and light are (have ever been) by my side.  And  I have come to the conclusion that  I can  trust this process,   universe´s guidance and my own inner voice.

Finally I am grounded in acceptance.



Please note, I have updated my gratitude page this week, if you want to have a look follow this link


6 comments:

windrock studio said...

You are certainly going in the right direction ... I love the wisdom that years bring us.

Jeanne said...

Love your post, and so true that joy is an option that you choose. I meet so many people in my work, and it is always so interesting to me to see that some people CHOSE JOY, and others just choose to whine and be miserable. There is beauty in every day and moment if we seek it. It may not be exactly the events that we thought, but they can be good anyway.

Andrea said...

Thank you for sharing this beautiful and inspiring epiphany. Someone I know through a textile group recently blogged: "BOUNDARIES. This is the lesson of this generation of people on the planet. It is not about making wars. It is not about holding a grudge. Do what you know to keep yourself safe and to bring the Joy alive."

http://janethovde.com Nov. 13, 2014

I am coming into this discovery myself.

Andrea said...

Correction: the blog entry I cited was posted on Nov.3, 2014.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

It's really something how our preconceived ideas are so often wrong, isn't it? Life rarely goes according to script - but that's a good thing :)

Aga Gasiniak said...

Ah Zena you are so right: life is a gift and we are enough. Beautiful post and so good to visit your blog again! Big hugs to you!

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