21.3.14

DAY 515

rationale of change
...And suddenly, everything is here again:

the fear, the pain, the sorrow;
the anguish, the insecurity and sense of no belonging.

Suddenly, the emotional turmoil comes back anew and all the strategies, learnings and tricks seem to be useless,

faded,

obsolete.

One feels that it´s time to start from the very beginning and thinks of not being able to fight the same struggles  all over again.

And then, without knowing why, one tries a new approach: one stops resisting and starts to embrace. And everything changes.

I did it: 

I stopped running to catch peace. I stood still, turned back and looked at what was chasing me. And I said YES.

Yes, here I am feeling fear, and pain and sorrow;
here I am with my anxiety and my doubts,
here I am feeling that I am falling apart.

I named my feelings. I held out my hand to them... and suddenly, I realized that there was not nothing bad or good about them.

They were just feelings that were there to describe how life had made me feel time ago, attracting attention, but they really didn´t want me to consider them, but myself.

They were there just to create acknowledgment, consciousness... what a special turning point!

Now every time one of those feelings visits me again, I bow down to them in sign of respect, because I know they are here to reveal new dimensions of my true self.


PS: I´ve been madly busy. Hope to be updating my blog on regular basis next week. Happy Weekend.

Much Love

Z.


5 comments:

Optimistic Existentialist said...

I read a quote once that said "nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what it needs us to know".

Barbara Schwartz said...

Excellent! While I was reading I was saying to myself, "It's just fear." As if fear is so simple or even just! You did such wonderful work evolving your thought process and came to the end resolved! Yippeee for you.

Introverted Art said...

wow Zena, amazing! I like the quote Keith left... it's true.

Aga Gasiniak said...

Dear Zena, I have felt a bit down recently too and there was lots of resistance in me. But then I have started to let go things and the way how I felt have changed too. It looks like we both were dealing with changes and we both had to let things and feelings go and accept them. Big hugs to you and lots of love!
p.s magical portrait!

Teteel said...

I like the photo very much.
You have written so wisely.

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