|tribute to change|
This is my photo-heart connection of September.
This summer I have taken lots of photos outside along with my husband. We have started to share this activity so we have gone to explore with our cameras quite often. On the other hand, I have taken also many self-portraits because I took an on-line class about this subject that gone beyond any of my expectations (see the photos here). Both were delightful ways to develop my passion for photography while carry on with my inner work, but when September arrived I felt the urge to have some quiet time alone with my camera and still subjects. Not only because I needed to focus on this kind of composition where one can play with many variables, or because I needed some contemplative solitude, but also, because I wanted to go deeply into what I had learned.
What I had done along the summer had given me a better confidence in myself, in my options, in my conception of life and in the way I wanted to express myself; I was taking pleasure in this new sense of self, feeling that I have never respected (loved) myself this way before and I wanted to try if this was related to photography as well. And so, I did.
I still can remember the day. The light and the tranquil pace of the morning. My sweet disposition. The lack of criticism. And how, after any single click of the camera, I felt pleased with what I was doing, with that moment and -last but not least, although much more unusual- with the person I was.
I have suffered a few minor relapses after that. I have felt again that I am not good enough (I wonder if this is in my blood), but I truly believe that now I have a new foundation from where I can battle against this. And it is not disappointing me.
Loving myself a bit more is indeed what people says: the ultimate practice.