1.10.13

DAY 365+113

tribute to change

This is my photo-heart connection of September.

This summer I have taken lots of photos outside along with my husband. We have started to share this activity so we have gone to explore with our cameras quite often. On the other hand, I have taken also many self-portraits because I took an on-line class about this subject that gone beyond any of my expectations (see the photos here). Both were delightful ways to develop my passion for photography while carry on with my inner work, but when September arrived I felt the urge to have some quiet time alone with my camera and still subjects. Not only because I needed to focus on this kind of composition where one can play with many variables, or because I needed some contemplative solitude, but also, because I wanted to go deeply into what I had learned. 


What I had done along the summer had given me a better confidence in myself, in my options, in my conception of life and in the way I wanted to express myself;  I was taking pleasure in this new sense of self, feeling that I have never respected (loved) myself this way before and I wanted to try if this was related to photography as well. And so, I did.

I still can remember the day. The light and the tranquil pace of the morning. My sweet disposition. The lack of criticism. And how, after any single click of the camera, I felt pleased with what I was doing, with that moment and -last but not least, although much more unusual- with the person I was.

I have suffered a few minor relapses after that. I have felt again that I am not good enough (I wonder if this is in my blood),  but I truly believe that now I have a new foundation from where I can battle against this. And it is not disappointing me. 


Loving myself a bit more is indeed what people says: the ultimate practice.

13 comments:

Kimberley McGill said...

oh Zena! It makes me smile so big to read this. I've had the same kind of experience and it is, as you say, a solid foundation.

gina said...

Your photo-heart connection post is very moving. What a gift photography has given -- to find confidence and self love! Bravo!

Deborah Tisch said...

Zena,
I have enjoyed your writing for a long time, but have to say that this post and image really touch my own heart. I can relate on so many levels with what you said.

Beautiful photo heart connection.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

Your introspection has always inspired me so much. This post, as all of your posts do, really makes me think...

Kathryn said...

I love the journey you've been on with your camera, your exploration of self and your PHC selection this month. Beautiful play of light and dark.

seabluelee said...

Zena, your posts are always so introspective and revealing. I admire your courage in sharing your innermost self the way you do. I looked at your self portraits post and they are wonderful! I agree that your mother is beautiful. So are you, and that portrait of the two of you is wonderful.

Aga Gasiniak said...

Beautiful post, Zena and absolutely stunning photo, completely perfect in itself.

Prairie Jill said...

Beautiful image and beautiful post. It's amazing how photography can affect people.

Kat Sloma said...

Oh, to be truly content with where we are and who we are is something that we all would love to achieve. I'm glad that you are finding moments like that more and more, and the photography has helped you along this healing journey. Thank you for sharing with us in the Photo-Heart Connection.

Michele at Sweet Leaf said...

Yup, self-love and self-esteem is something I've been working on for a lifetime. It does get easier with time and with practice. Neat to see that Photography is helping you get there. --Michele at Sweet Leaf

Miriam said...

Thank you for visiting me, Im so glad I stopped by this morning. I loved your PHC and your words. I will be back to visit you, your photography is wonderful.

Cathy H. said...

Moving post and lovely image.

Susan said...

So small, so stunning. You should definitely "own" your artist. It's always so much easier for others to see it than ourselves.
I took a look at your link-so much to read I couldn't, but that looks like a marvelous and amazing adventure.
Was it a class/online/blog related venture?
I could use some self-love myself. Sounds fascinating. Popping in from the PHC and very glad I did.

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