|presence leads to beauty|
Along my life I have spent many years running to nowhere. I didn´t know at that moment but looking for outer approval, escaping from my reality, disowning my own past, let other people to infringe my personal boundaries and rejecting my gifts, were not leading me to a good place
A moment came that I felt like inside a maze and the more I wanted to leave it using my well known strategies, the more I got lost. Anger and frighten were my path mates and -it´s hard to say- they created a deep sense of self-contempt. Most of the time I felt like a fraud...
But even so, I don´t know exactly why, I didn´t give up and kept looking for answers, maybe because deep inside me a tiny voice was warning me about the chance of changing, and living my life differently
It took time, and arduous explorations but I learnt firstly, to face up my life as it is; secondly, to bow down to my destiny (this was hard, still is) and thirdly, to appreciate more, and expect less most of the time...
These things have opened a gateway to a completely different life, which, of course, still has up and downs, anxiety, and the ordinary disturbances of everyday life, but also less complaints, discontent and puzzlement and an extraordinary sense of being where I have to be: right here, right now
I left you with this little poem which describes perfectly my experience:
"The blue sky opens out farther and farther,
The daily sense of failure goes away,
the damage I have done to myself fades,
a million suns come forward with light,
when I sit firmly in that world"