DAY 365+37

breaking new ground

My past has given me many answers about how my frames of mind have been constructed. Even assuming that I can have a distorted (or subjective) vision of what happened, this vision matters. It tells me how I have perceived the experiences I had to go through and allows me to understand better the rudimentary or initial form of certain beliefs and behavior patterns

Knowing the root causes of those mind frames -that ended up being useless and the seeds of a new kind of unease- doesn´t create automatically new ones but helps to break up the preconceived idea according to which, they are fixed and untouchable. In fact, it helps to question them and to realize that those things that have been learnt can be "un-learnt" and replaced

Looking back often can create a sense of resentfulness because we are prone to focus on what was wrong (according to our point of view) and to forget what worked well. And even to pay attention to things that don´t exist anymore

However, the only place where one can make changes is the present moment, so it is important -in order to prevent blockages- to alternate that analytical method with the mindfulness which is meant to replace it. This way, as we  become more and more clear about the reason why we behave in a predetermined way at one particular moment, the need to analyze the past  starts to stop and the wish for living the present consciously starts to increase

In my case, a moment came when I didn´t need to analyze so much and I started to feel ready to fully live my life by loving what is. Curiously enough, when this occured, a new perception of the past emerged. This happened because once the old mind patterns were taken apart, a less corrupted vision of reality appeared and the rich roots that had nurtured me along my life -even when they had been ignored- became visible

In fact, as I heal my own past, those roots are becoming more and more relevant. They are which have anchored me to the soil of my existence and are an essential and fundamental part of me. Many of them are the result of all the nice things I´ve experienced. And whether I like it or not, some of them have been developed or strengthened thanks to the painful events which -by the understanding of this fact- have been cleansed from bitterness

This is allowing me not only to and cultivate acceptance and let go the pain, but also to appreciate the good things I had, something essential in order to keep on evolving