23.12.12

DAY 365+22

this moment is my master
 
I know that a kind of sadness has pervaded my latest writings so most of the persons that read them see this side of me even those who have been reading me for a time now. I would have this impression too in their case ... maybe because sorrow cause a deeper impact on us that contentment, or because the more recent feeling seem to be more authentic than the older one, when indeed, grief and gladness are not mutually exclusive and our daily life is a melting-pot of emotions 

We have many facets,  but when we insist on one of them for a time, persons around us are prone to forget the rest of them, simply because we omit their existence

This has happened to me lately. Many of my words have had a mist of pain. I´ve been solving some painful matters and I am somehow closing a cycle, something that it´s itself a great new but has a bittersweet side. 
This has made you want to show me your support. This makes my days much brighter. I feel so very grateful for having you all in my life. Every time I read one of your comments I start to connect to all my inner joy and to the tiny wisdom that I have achieved along my journey 

I can understand they have gone unnoticed as I am not giving them power at this moment, but believe me, I am not only the anguish and desolation that  I am letting be seen now, I am also the delight and amazement I have shown before. I am merriment and calm, peace and enthusiasm

In fact, I can be the flower and the bare branch, the melancholic moom and the vibrant sun

the rose and the thistle

the obverse and the reverse

I try to be present when I am this or that. I try to  live what is and not to feel attached to one or another: I have learnt not to judge how I am feeling too hard and to accept both of them as equally important

I am  peeling off the layers and letting the masks aside because I want to reach a positive mood without repressing what is moving inside me, this entails contradictory emotions, but I feel safe and serene

...at the end of a day,  I am a simple soul walking my path armed only with a bunch of words, my camera and a wishful heart


1 comment:

Aga Gasiniak said...

Beautiful portrait, Zena. I think that sadness is just the part of life just like happiness and we cannot avoid that or pretend that it does not exist. So I am truly and very grateful for sharing with us your doubts and thoughts, fears and moments of sadness. It helps me to feel not alone in some way as well. Thank you Zena.

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