|these priceless instants |
When I am at my mom´s house I tend to collect tiny, precious, memories of the moments we share. I´ve always done that because when I was born my mother was 40 years old, and since I was a little girl I´ve had the feeling that time was short...
In fact, the reason why I started to do so was mainly fear (or my need to avert it) and I know that it has triggered some undesirable reactions along the years. However, healing doesn´t mean to transform dramatically all your acts and habits, but your responses, this is, the reasons why you do things
So, for some time now, I am undergoing a marked change, which includes acceptance, and entails the preservation of memories from a completely different approach: I focus on gratitude for my experiences and not on the suffering due to what I am going to lose. In other words, I try to live, enjoy and treasure the time I have and not to stop it. So in a sense, I am using those experiences to reinforce my love for the present and not my concern for the future (or my regret for the past)
Therefore, this old habit has taken a new meaning. Of course, this involves a practice that I must do consciously and is not always easy... but anyway, it´s giving me deep moments of bliss