DAY 365+44

being where I am

How much must we run and look for happiness outside in order to understand that is inside us? 

How long must we stay identified with the external form of things in order to understand that they are not a source of joy?

How long must we remain shallow in order to understand the frivolity does not  prevent us from suffering?

How long takes to understand that being present - don´t escape- drives us deeper and paradoxically, gives us lightness?

How much must we stay in the past to realize that this is not our place, that we only have this present moment and nothing else?

How many times must we collide with reality to be able to accept it and  do not create a parallel reality according our wishes or needs?

How long must we stay tied to our expectations and feeling disappointed before we start to love what is?

How many tears must we cry?...

I have cried a river, believe me. Even so, I repeat to myself: the origin of suffering is attachment and the cessation of attachment is attainable. We keep attached to our ideas, beliefs, experiences, goods, possessions… but all of them are transient things. Our conception of the world  is a delusion, and even our conception about ourselves, as both –the universe and ourselves- are constantly evolving, unfolding. We can let go concepts, expectations and desires. We can end up conquering a sort of dispassion 

Does this help me?. Does this comfort me?. To be honest, it depends on the day. Quite often I expect these thoughts to make me perfect and suddenly I become aware that this is the deception of false spirituality

This is just a gradual path of self-improvement where every step (even those relapses and my recurrent need to be better) counts, although when it may sounds paradoxical.  
But I have noticed that those simple affirmations (that are so complex to implement) create a new mood (and new mind frames) that make me feel more inclined to stay here and to appreciate the powerful state of conscious that comes from this simple fact 

Preserving that state is important, but now I know that this will be a lifetime work and not something that I will achieve from one moment to another, so what´s the hurry?

I keep my practice and that´s enough

Simple things Sunday


Barbara Schwartz said...

We travel parallel paths. Thanks for your comments on my blog and for introducing me to yours.

Aga Gasiniak said...

Hi Zena, I agree with you. being aware of present moment and constantly creating a new mood take a lifetime. It is our part of journey which is life, the same like our life lesson is love. I find myslef very often like taking one step forward and then two backwards but it is a part of our journey too. Big hugs to you

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