DAY 297

about caring 

My mother is getting a lot better. She has a heart and kidney failure due to age and hypertension, apart from poor mobility, and she started to retain liquid. It went to her lungs, which is not good at all because this makes the conditions of her heart and kidney even worse, which can be dangerous as she will be 88 next november

Regardless if I like it or not, the thing is that she has became more dependent last year, and she needs our cares more than ever before

Sometimes, when I talk about this with some of my siblings, I feel overly dramatic... it´s like I am being too gloomy, when I am just realistic. I only try to represent things in a way that is accurate and true to my mom´s circumstances. I try to focus on solutions, not on problems, and mainly in the fact that she needs our help and love (not only professional assistance) right now, not tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, but today. 
We won´t have endless chances to do it, we will only have this life, this time, this moment  

Of course, one of the underlying reasons that justify this can be that this is a significant stage, but it is not the only one. As far as I am concerned, the main reason why I think we should do this is she deserves it. She has always deserved it, but before she was strong and capable and now she is fragile and vulnerable

Undoubtedly, we cannot leave our lives adrift because our mother needs us, but we will have to check our priorities, it is a matter of affection and responsability. I am checking my own ones already, but I am determined not  to check or judge theirs. The last decision is up to them 

In any case, I will do what I think I have to do, because the way I want to approach this moment is something that is not between me and my siblings, is something that is between me and my mother, me and my own conscious

PS: My mother has been ill, she is getting better, and this is why I am behind with my post. Now that I am a bit quieter, I am transcribing my impressions of previous days 

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