DAY 365+52

it was a cold afternoon

the light was subtle and dense, 
it was drizzling and the misty atmosphere seemed not to be the best one to take photos


People was going back home very fast and the usual childish laughs and screams had been replaced for silence 


Even the birds were expectant what they were awaiting or anticipating, I don´t know 
but they were flying low and slowly 
and tossing their head 

...maybe because the park was almost empty and the bubbling hustle had been chased away because of the promise of the storm 


And there I was with my camera and the park at my complete disposal in all its glory 
...and I reveled in the solitude

in the first sprouts of spring

in the new, yet well known, friends

even in the magnificence of nature´s decay 

It was a fast walk, 
the wind was really freezing 
but along it I felt alive and present and joyful 


I rediscovered the magic of the camera which is creating a deep sense of connection,
a nexus between one´s own soul and the soul of the world


Walk and Click Wednesday

DAY 365+51

in my kitchen 

you will find sun rays, 
shelves filled with boxes of lasagna sheets,
unmatched pieces of chinaware, jars with spices
and two or three bottles of different types of olive oil

biscuits, dark chocolate and many blends of tea:
black chai, earl grey, english breakfast... you name it
infusion sachets and crackers

seeds, nuts, herbs and dietary supplements
honey, agave syrup, my old glassware, bottles of red wine
fruits, veggies and chips packs

lots of bowls, big and small; white and colored,
many utensils (like baking molds) that I rarely utilize,
beautiful, embroidery, serviettes
that I use only from time to time
and when I want to photograph some still lifes

it´s not a the kitchen of a gourmet,
it´s not the kitchen of a perfect house wife,
it´s not the kitchen of an expert in healthy eating,
(even when sometimes I secretly envy those who are so)

it´s the kitchen of a person who has many things to do,
who prefers to pile up the dishes in the sink
and go outside to capture a tree blooming or read a book,

it´s the kitchen of a person who has finally understood that eating is about enjoying, about sharing, about spreading gentleness,
about finding light in the ordinary things
not about being conform with any established standard related to diet 

So in my kitchen you will also find conversations and snacks while cooking, 
fresh bread and marine salt,
simple meals made with a dose of love


...and some paws prints of this little apprentice
who curiously observes what happens around


Simple things Sunday

DAY 365+50

from behind the mask

While walking over the city along the carnival it´s not strange to stumble upon masks. They are everywhere as a reminder of our true reality: we´re always wearing them. We use them to protect us. And also as a way to please others or to pretend to be that person that we think we should be

They are like shields that prevent us from suffering, from being judged, rejected, feeling inapt or unsafe. They can make us to fit in with people around us. And even when many of them are made of the same material of our deepest layers (they are positive, yet false), some can be completely divorced from our true nature (they are false and negative)

The first ones help us to play roles, and most of the time we can wear them without stopping being ourselves. But the second ones make us feel aliens in our own existence, emotions and wishes. They make us behave strangely and prevent us from living intensely, consciously. They drain us of our essence

Anyway, wearing any type of mask can be dangerous if we end up believing that we are what we show to the rest of the world. So the most important thing is being aware of them and be careful about those which create a feeling of powerless in us

Stripping off the masks we are wearing is not easy because our society (and persons around us) constantly pressures us to use them: we have to fit their. It´s a process. We can learn to recognize them, to indentify which of them are not useful anymore, even which one can be damaging and also, we can learn to remove what makes us to get away from our center

But this calls for practice . We need to  stay true to ourselves (and this means to admit that we are resorting to masks, if we are doing so) to embrace our vulnerability and dare to be mask-free 

This might seem risky. Indeed, it is. Not only because authenticity is always a hazard but because we can find out that our identity is too complex and changeable with and without masks. This also might seem intimidating, awkward. Once again, it is. We have never been this close to lay bare

But if we have been clever enough, strong enough and daring enough to create our own masks and go through our lives wearing them, we´ll be wise enough to accept that we are not our masks. We´ll be brave enough to take off our costumes and go into the intriguing mystery of self

We´ll be generous enough to challenge others to be there with us... in a territory where being simply who we are is admissible and non-duality is a possibility

Today, take a moment to explore your masks compassionately. You´re using them for a reason but maybe you don´t need them as much as you think, you are beautiful just as you are


Walk and Click Wednesday

DAY 365+49

"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication" 

Leonardo da Vinci


Sweet Shot Tuesday

DAY 365+48

it´s all about love

... So in my previous post I committed myself to talk about this topic, but when I started to write nothing interesting came to my mind

I started this paragraph a few times, but sometimes the sentences sounded too grandiloquent, and others they seemed clichés or were just trivial. Love is the ultimate motivation of any human being but talking about it is not that easy, maybe because it´s the most complex emotion we can feel and the least homogeneous: it is made of patches of this and that. Patches which can´t be measured in order to show an accurate description of what love signifies to us or how we experience love

In fact, it´s much more facile to show simply what we have always love, what we have learnt to love, what we have come to love (even when we didn´t expect to) and what we are starting to love (even when we still find hard to do it). It´s said that we can be known by our fruits, so I hope this will let you know what love means to me

What I have always loved
Images. Eye-catching colors and forms. Silence, solitude and written words. Creating things. My friends and beloved ones. Chocolate and books

feeling inspired
constancy 
musing on the world around me


What I have learnt to love
Simplicity. Teaching. Walks and healthy foods. Boundaries and lightness. My inner world

feeling powerful
serenity 
making pauses


What I have come to love (even when I didn´t expect to)
Cats, photography and the spiritual word. Visibility and forgiveness . "Imperfect" things. My destiny and my vision

feeling vulnerable
company
accepting life and persons as they are 


What I am starting to love (even when I still find hard to do it)
Day dreaming.Fruits. Detachment. Passing time

feeling imperfect
uncertainty 
being myself

I am linking to Simple things Sunday

DAY 365+47

back there, where love still persists

These have been hectic weeks due to the beginning of the second semester of classes. Last weekend, I thought this one would be better but it wasn´t the case. I also thought I would write something about masks because we are celebrating carnival and I had planned to take some photos around the city. But this doesn´t happened, either. The only day I went outside with my camera, the weather was terrible, and I had the sense that the wind had taken with it the charm of this season. All what I saw seemed to me clumsy and lacking magic. Maybe I was to tired to appreciate it, maybe I am moving to a time of my life where I am more oriented to simplicity, I am not sure 

The thing is that yesterday evening, when I was coming back from work to home,  I found myself thinking that the week had flown by and mentally checking all the things I still had to do when I realized that it was the day when people usually celebrates love. And suddenly I become aware of some painful oversights. First, I had not any expectation about the day because I was to overwhelmed with work to plan something. Second, I had forgotten the anniversary of the passing away of my dear Malú, who died two years ago

This made a big impression on me. What kind of life is this, when I forget that love must be celebrated (even when that celebration may seem a marketing strategy) and the good friends must be honored? What kind of life am I living, when my busy schedule, complicated meetings and ridiculous arguments can still drain my energy and take away my joy and excitement, my devotion and beliefs?

Believe me, I love to teach but sometimes (and more often every passing day) the bureaucratic mechanism of the university leaves me open-mouthed... stunned. So yesterday night, after having an improvised dinner with my husband where we toasted to love and friendship, I decided that my duties would wait, because this weekend I would take time to write about the most complex - and stereotyped- topic ever. I would write about love in the widest sense of the word.

This will be tomorrow...

Today I only want to publish these photos of my sweet friend

There are no words good enough to describe the place she has in my heart, not only because all the years we shared (thirteen years, since she was a little kitten), but also because the last day of her life she gave me the most precious gift: the understanding of death as something that holds a kind of beauty and as a process that must be lived consciously

My sweet Malú is now resting in peace, she came back to the source of energy from where we all come, but she taught me a priceless lesson of generosity, and for this reason today I am glad I had the chance to meet her. Dear friend, you will never be forgotten


Favorite Photo Friday  Friendship Friday 

DAY 365+46

time´s little offerings

When I first saw this photo I didn´t think of publishing it. Maybe because when we take a photo of a butterfly we want to capture its awesome -yet ephemeral- beauty, as it is the archetype of grace and we are not looking for the real living creature behind it

 But the more I thought of it, the more I felt the urge to publish it. While I was editing it, I realized that this image -the capture itself and what it conveyed- somehow illustrated some of the finds  that are helping me to live much more peacefully. Here are some of them:  

We are all damaged. Some way or another we all carry some pain, disappointments, failures. But there is so much beauty and light in us that if we learn to focus on them we can keep on being marvelous creatures

Many of us have the sense that we have to fly with broken wings. It can be true but this doesn´t make us less competent; n the contrary, what we have overcame, makes us stronger and wiser

From time to time we have the sense that we won´t be able to meet the challenges, so we decide not to try it, but even a short flight is better to stay at home, feeling sorry for ourselves

We can feel ashamed, we can feel like the proverbial ugly ducky, but when we go outside we discover that there are many kindred spirit waiting for us, people from our own tribe, who are ready to embrace us regardless of our wounds

We can be concerned by what other people think about us, but there are tons of wonderful flowers and sun rays to enjoy, many adventures to live, many roads to walk, so we can´t live pleasing others. At the end of the day the more important thing is if we have pleased ourselves

We can think we are not beautiful enough, but when we cultivate passion, joy and authenticity, charm comes alone. We can think we are not good enough but when we say yes to ourselves, we find acceptance (and love) everywhere

We can be angry with ourselves and the whole universe. But believe me, this doesn´t make us any good. When we let our hearts go to us, and are able to feel compassion and see this existence as an opportunity to bloom (not a suffering trip) we start to really appreciate our journeys

We can take pleasure in the past, but remember, while we are doing that minutes are withering, days are fading away, dreams die 

We can despise ourselves, but if we respect ourselves instead, if we become aware of our uniqueness and we opt for visibility we will end up admitting that we are more alluring, clever, courageous and interesting than we had imagined. We will end up admitting that we are perfect as we are

... and we will realize that life is indeed wonderful


Sweet Shot Tuesday  Walk and Click Wednesday

DAY 365+45

this moment

This moment is the most amazing moment ever 

It can seem just another unexceptional moment. 
Another tiny stitch of everydayness, 
a new uninteresting instant like the hundreds of them that have been previously lived or are ahead. 

It can seem just another insignificant piece of the fabric of life. 
Another fragment that doesn´t show anything special, 
just the work of the needle of existence that knits one second after another, little by little, slowly but steady. 

It can seem just another irrelevant moment. 
Another indispensable -yet dull- step while we are seeking some big, important, things, 
a minuscule embroidery that will be soon forgotten and eventually added to a more complex pattern. 

Yes, this moment could be just a prelude to greatest goals. A procedure we have to go through hastily and will be finally lost in the irrepressible flow of time. But this moment is not only a formality we have to solve, it´s also a secret we have to unveil, because this ordinary moment holds all the greatness we will be able to accomplish, all the wisdom we are looking for, all the joy we are dreaming of

In fact, moments create the weave of our life and we create the warp with our thoughts and attitudes. We can ignore all the beautiful threads that are given to us daily or we can appreciate them consciously and this will define the nature of our stay here

I choose to unwind this skein, now. I choose to reach contentment in the little things, now. I choose to unravel the sense of simple moments, now. I choose to untangle my thoughts, now. I choose to focus on the unexplained and enigmatic present, now. I choose to live between the seams of time, now. Right now

What do you choose?


Cross-posted at Vision and Verb, where I am currently collaborating. Many other women share their passion for creativity and words there, please visit them, it´s a wonderful site

DAY 365+44

being where I am

How much must we run and look for happiness outside in order to understand that is inside us? 

How long must we stay identified with the external form of things in order to understand that they are not a source of joy?

How long must we remain shallow in order to understand the frivolity does not  prevent us from suffering?

How long takes to understand that being present - don´t escape- drives us deeper and paradoxically, gives us lightness?

How much must we stay in the past to realize that this is not our place, that we only have this present moment and nothing else?

How many times must we collide with reality to be able to accept it and  do not create a parallel reality according our wishes or needs?

How long must we stay tied to our expectations and feeling disappointed before we start to love what is?

How many tears must we cry?...

I have cried a river, believe me. Even so, I repeat to myself: the origin of suffering is attachment and the cessation of attachment is attainable. We keep attached to our ideas, beliefs, experiences, goods, possessions… but all of them are transient things. Our conception of the world  is a delusion, and even our conception about ourselves, as both –the universe and ourselves- are constantly evolving, unfolding. We can let go concepts, expectations and desires. We can end up conquering a sort of dispassion 

Does this help me?. Does this comfort me?. To be honest, it depends on the day. Quite often I expect these thoughts to make me perfect and suddenly I become aware that this is the deception of false spirituality

This is just a gradual path of self-improvement where every step (even those relapses and my recurrent need to be better) counts, although when it may sounds paradoxical.  But I have noticed that those simple affirmations (that are so complex to implement) create a new mood (and new mind frames) that make me feel more inclined to stay here and to appreciate the powerful state of conscious that comes from this simple fact 

Preserving that state is important, but now I know that this will be a lifetime work and not something that I will achieve from one moment to another, so what´s the hurry?

I keep my practice and that´s enough


Simple things Sunday

DAY 365+43

unexpected ally

This is my contribution to Photo-Heart Connection this month 

My husband gave me a few macro lenses as a birthday present past December. One day, after all the Christmas celebrations, I went out with my camera, thinking of trying them. I was imagining all the wonderful photos I would take. I have always admired the botanical macros and flowers close-ups so I was ready to capture some fabulous images. However, as I walked by the park next to my home, I lost my inspiration. I wasn´t able to find nothing that fitted with what I had in mind and I felt  that my camera was driving me crazy, but I walked and walked and made several attempts

When I was back at home, I couldn´t be more disappointed. And that feeling increased when I edited my photos. Most of them were blurry, others were out of focus and the few that were not too bad (technically speaking) were simply awful. The flowers seemed strange creatures that frightened me and  some tiny details -as stamens or sepals- looked threatening remainders of an unknown world, though I´d  usually considered them to be enchanting 

Even so, I went out with my macro lenses one more time, and another one but I didn´t obtain better results. I started to hate them because I couldn´t find myself in my photos and they were making me lose the pleasure I usually find while shooting and editing

Oh... I was so annoyed. I kept wondering why I could not take a great macro. One day the answer came to me from a little place inside me and was clear: you can´t take better macros because this is the very first time you use those lenses and maybe you need time, maybe you can need even more time than others and this is not a crime. And suddenly,  I became aware of the foolishness of this question

To be honest, once I acknowledge this, the whole thing made me feel stupid and arrogant. Once again, I was forcing (and punishing) myself because I was too far from my expectations

I have lived that way part of my life: always making the effort to be better, always discontented, always wanting more, always judging myself harshly. Nonetheless, I have learned to let go my perfectionism, to accept that I can get things wrong and also, that I can´t be good at every single thing. But those macro lenses made the perfectionist that still live in me to wake up and scream: I was so concerned by taking the perfect macro that I was forgetting to enjoy the process 

So I decided to relax and enjoy. I went out with my camera and my lenses again without any preconceived idea in mind about what I should achieve. I walked, breathed and had fun and when I was coming out of  the park I saw this little creature (only one centimeter length). It was taking delight in the warmth of the morning light and was also, absolutely still

As I was looking at it, I perceived the texture of the leaf where it was resting, the delicacy of its colors, the shadows and its velvety wings that were so precious. I simply focused the image I was seeing through my view finder and shot. When I heard the click, I knew that I had taken my first acceptable macro. Now looking  at it, I see  the moment when I trust my own eye

I still don´t feel very comfy with those lenses, but I know that I will improve over the weeks and I will find my own style 

... And if this doesn´t happen, I´ll  feel well anyway